Just wanted to drop a quick note thanking you for always being so pleasant to us and not verbally speculating on the stranger regular contents of our cart.

I’d be happy to explain what all those cans of unsalted green beans, tins of kipper snacks (of which I believe we are probably the only purchasers), the twenty dollars’ worth of ten cent each kool aid packets, all that yogurt, the oven mitts, and the disposible rubber gloves were for.

But you never say anything to us about them, nor do you comment on why we make our major grocery shopping trips around six or seven in the morning. You just seem to be happy that we’re so much peppier and more polite than the usual early morning shopper.

And you were so nice about how we were keeping up with the Kroger worker’s union negotiations.

Just thought you should know that I really appreciate it.

~~Noelle

Dear fridge guy,

I miss you. I know I’m supposed to be coy and pretend that I’m ambivalent about whether or not you ever call me back but I gave up on those silly games when I was twenty-five. When I realized that if you actually tell someone what you want they can decide whether or not to help you get it - and in a lot of cases if you’re nice enough they will choose to do so.

I saw you last week but that just wasn’t enough. So you said you’d come by today. I’ve been waiting all day for your call. I even cleaned the house so you wouldn’t think we live like the freaks we probably are. Well, ok, Cody cleaned this time but still..I thanked and praised him and took the garbage to the curb.

My refrigerator needs you. I need you. If you come back I promise I’ll let you hold the hedgehog again. I’ll bake you a cake (if you knew me well you’d know how big a deal that is). I’ll cut your hair. I’ll even take you to the store and buy you a big pack of socks.

Just please please please please call me. We all miss you so. We miss having dairy products. We miss not having to go out to the garage to get ice. Life just isn’t the same without you.

Love,
Noelle

P.S. Please come soon we really wanted to take the dog to the dog park today. And as you well know, a happy hundred-pound dog is a ‘not jumping over the toddler gate to try to get to you’ hundred-pound dog.