For the folks who have seen me knitting those Lorna’s Laces socks and asked where I got that special pink and brown striping colorway.. I found it!

Ashley and I are going to Camp Pluckyfluff in Taos in the fall! Woot! (We’re getting a hotel room though, gotta have my own bathroom.)

We saw Zodiac last night. Here were my exact thoughts as I watched it:

Ooh! Fun music
Hey, this is actually pretty good.
Damn, Mark Ruffalo is doing an excellent job.
Look! It’s that guy! (That happened a lot)
Ouch, we still have another hour to go.
What? Why is Jake Gyllenhaal not aging like everyone else?
Woowoo! Mark Ruffalo in his underpants!
Ew, that ending was a bummer.

Yep that was pretty much it.

**funky scarf swap partner! I’ve emailed you back again! Please check your spam filter if you don’t hear from me today **

So I’ve been working on some custom orders the last few days. Some specifically asked for green so I decided to play with variations on that color with roving and sock yarn. It was fun. They’re all still drying and they’re in the bathroom so they’re badly lit with the flash but here are a few photos I just took.

I have some other spinning jobs to do today. Doing some neutral toned beaded yarn today. I’m very excited about all the work I’ve been getting lately and really hopeful that I’ll be able to pay for a good chunk of the cruise with my own fiber earnings.

But before I go do some work there’s something I have to get off my chest. Project Runway is starting to piss me off. (Get it? Piss and Vinegar?)

Now I’ve been a loyal viewer since the first season. I don’t blog about it much because other people write things that are far more interesting about the show than what I could come up with. But I’m a lifelong expert on the recent issues of weight that have come up on the show lately and I have to admit that I’m getting pretty disappointed in what I’m seeing.

Last week there was the whole size four being called “Zaftig”, Heidi intimating she’d rather be dead than thought a plus size, the “aufed” designer blaming having a “fat” model on being kicked off the show in an interview. And I don’t think she was *that* far off of the mark, either. I got the impression that she was tossed off the show because she designed something that made her model look fat and GODS FORBID someone looked fat.

But I wasn’t that surprised. This is an industry that is designed to screw with women’s heads and their concepts of self, and finding new things to sell to convince them that they won’t look old or fat if they use or wear this or that. It’s the first time it was really out in the open on this particular show but since Project Runway is about the fashion industry I’ve always sensed a little of that attitude floating underneath.

As a matter of fact I wrote about this issue during Season One: Wendy Pepper may have been a jerk, or someone whose footage was manipulated, probably somewhere in between, but whoever designed her clothes usually had various body types in mind and I thought that was commendable.

This week’s episode really bothered me on a lot of levels. When the moms and sisters first came out I was delighted. FINALLY the designers were going to be designing for normal sized people. Then the whining started. “Waaah I have to design for fat people!” Boo freakin hoo guys who do you think is going to buy the clothes when you work at International Concepts?

They’re supposed to be such impressive designers and they can only design for human coat hangers? Not very impressive to me. Allow me to quote myself from February 2005:

I probably wouldn’t wear any of the clothes that came down that runway. If I had to choose one or go out naked I would put on Uli’s. At least she took the body into consideration with modern design. It’s sad really because these are supposed to be the top designers and only one could come up with a good design? Shame on you all. Back to remedial body concept for you! Get ye to figure drawing classes! Do they even require those for fashion majors? If they don’t they really should.

I don’t know much about fashion trends. But I frequently get compliments on what I’m wearing because I usually wear something that is fun, reflects my personality, and usually deals well with my short and stout body. I’m not going to kid myself that I’ll wear a magic shirt and suddenly lose 100 pounds but one can still be big and look good. Seriously. And it’s not really that friggin hard to do. Anyone could learn tips like these from watching a few episodes of What Not to Wear (at least the English one) or, hell, pick up the “Big Girl Knits” book there are some great tips in there!

So here are a few alternative suggestions for the designs that I can remember. I’m not going to get into colors, I’m just interested in the shapes here. If you click on the photos you’ll be taken to the store where you can buy them.

Kayne’s model would’ve looked gorgeous with an empire waist with a V neck. They usually flatter any body type. Especially ones with good boobs and pretty skin like Michael’s mom. Rather than cropped tapered pants (a worrying trend which I’m going to just ignore like I’m ignoring the return of the gauchos), a boot-legged, flat-fronted pant. How cute would she have looked in this?

Robert could’ve done kimono sleeves without making a tent. I think his model could’ve looked lovely and floaty but still had a waist with a crossover design like this top but with some kimono sleeves added and some good shaping in lieu of the belt. And to balance out the top, a straight skirt to a floaty decorated hem with lots of fabric scraps (geometric as opposed to Santino-y) at the bottom.


I think that would have presented the interesting avant-garde kind of floaty shape Vincent’s sister seemed to want without having it be so top-heavy and tentlike

Now, the inevitable Jeffrey. I think the major mistake he’s made on this show (aside from being mean to someone’s mom and a lot of other people on camera) is losing sight of his punk rock roots. He’s supposed to be “Mr. Rockstar designer” but I have yet to see anything that lives up to that kind of title really, aside from the really obvious neck tattoos and bad attitude. Angela’s mom, having nothing to lose but not looking like a good sport, would probably have enjoyed if he wanted to play “Dress mommy in punk rock clothes” if he’d been nice about it. And wouldn’t that have been fun? This was supposed to be his unique perspective that got him on the show right? Adding some punk spice to high fashion? What a wasted opportunity to make it fun and look like a classy guy with a good sense of humor. What a shame. And don’t give me any bullshit former addict alcoholic excuses, that should make you have even more regard for human frailties. Anyway, this is what I would’ve put on Angela’s Mom.

I do think that he was on the right track with the neckline, even if he had said that ugly thing about her body issues. She was wearing a more demure neck than the other moms and I don’t think she would’ve been comfortable for it to be too low cut. But there are ways around that. I keep thinking of the new Glampyre Stitch Diva sweater design - a very low cut worn over a higher cut. With the right waist shaping it could look really nice on a plus size body. I came up with two options there. Of course, he couldn’t have knit a sweater or sewn a button down and vest in that time, but the basic idea of low cut worn over high cut with good shaping is what I’m after. I think the pants were where the color compromise could have come in. A sheer layer over a solid layer (like the pants on the right) but in wide legged pants (like the pants on the left) kind of thing. She would’ve looked longer and leaner with them, and not have to show any skin.

They’re just my suggestions. But I think they’re pretty good ones. I don’t have twelve hours to sew them and know absolutely nothing about construction so they could be impossible ideas. I doubt it though. My point really is that there are ways to dress larger women that aren’t mumus or boring. And I think it’s really sad that these designers don’t know that. If they don’t know that, how are people who don’t know anything about clothing supposed to know that?

So, of course, the designer that had the thinner model won and the one with the fatter model lost. Ho hum. Talk about baaaauuuring, Heidi.

Here are some good plus size clothing stores:
Avenue - I get my pants from here. I love their bootcut jeans and yoga pants.
Torrid - love their tops. I’m young and still have my punkish roots to really enjoy their stuff. They have a half-off clearance sale every month that keeps me in some fun shirts. I have to be careful to not go too young here. I don’t have the boobs for halter tops and probably never did to be honest. They also have some great bras.
Kiyonna- Not quite as well-known but really great, simple designs that are pretty current. I have some of their older designs that have held up really well too.
Junonia - plus sized active wear. Some great yoga and swimming stuff.
Silhouettes - some older stuff (read: boring preppy crap) but there are some slick designs and affordable prices.
Nordstrom - is probably the most popular plus size shop for designer names. If I needed a formal dress I’d go here.
I personally don’t like Lane Bryant because I found their clothes fall apart sooner than the others. So those were my resources for dressing the ladies.

I finished my green tea frappuccino handspun socks last night while watching spooky movies and listening to the crazy insane rain and lightning outside. I threaded the ends in this morning

The movies were the remake of The Fog, which I didn’t like nearly as much as the original - I tend to like my horror movies cheesy and low budgeted, and Dark Water, which was actually pretty good but not heart in my throat scary, which is a feeling I should probably avoid - it comes awfully close to panic attack feelings. I also watched Closer which I thought was creepy but in a whole other way. What a cynical little bedroom drama that turned out to be.

I swear someone was shooting off fireworks at one in the morning on my street in the middle of a heavy rain. Or someone’s fireworks got wet in the rain and they went off. They do that right? It wasn’t a gun, I know this. Guns don’t make high-pitched squeals before they pop.

Have we replenished the water table yet?

Today my socks and I are watching a PBS documentary about Bob Dylan directed by Martin Scorcese (you probably know Scorcese’s very good friends with Robbie Robertson who used to play in The Band behind Mr Bob but I can’t miss an opportunity to be a smarty pants - or smarty socks.)

Absolutely nothing much to note. Really so few things of interest are going on these days it would just bore you to read about it.

We had an unbelievable storm during Tuesday’s stitch n bitch. Driving back up Greigos from Rio Grande Blvd the street was so flooded we weren’t sure the car was going to make it at some points. Good thing we have a tall baby suv type car. Later we saw there were watermarks up to the bottoms of the doors though. Skeery.

I went to get my glasses fixed at the optomotrist who reminded me that I haven’t been there since March 2004 so it’s time to get my eyeballs checked again. And we’re almost finished paying off the criminal dentist.

In knitting I’m about to finish the sixth scarf for the Think Pink charity. They’re all fuzzy and acrylic because I’d used up my wool pink yarn for the warming grace squares. I think that’s all I’m going to do. I’m impatient to start new socks.

For lack of anything else to write about I’m going to make up some lists.

How I feel right now:
lazy
tired
sleepy
ambitious
nauseated
hungry
hopeful

Movies I’ve watched the last few weeks: (bad ones and all)
Bewitched
Stage Beauty
Monster-in-Law
Invincible (2001 Werner Herzog not the 2006 one about football)
The Carpetbaggers
Deuce Bigelow European Gigolow
de-Lovely
Notting Hill
Kiss Them For Me
Walk the Line
Heaven’s Gate (director’s cut)
The Skeleton Key

Books I’ve read the last few weeks:
Blue Shoes and Happiness
The Moviegoer
The Tiger in the Well
The Shadow in the North
The Ruby in the Smoke

Things I’m going to go do when I finish this post:
eat
watch something on the Tivo
take my medicine
sleep (wish me luck)

Cody may or may not get one or more of the following things for my birthday on Sunday:
Needles
The new KnitPicks needle sets with all the additional options looks good. They’re backordered for a few weeks though.
I’ve been lusting after these handmade wooden needles for months. Aren’t they pretty?
Or maybe a set of needles with lights inside?
If these stretchy circular needles came in sizes other than 2 I’d want them too.

Bags
I’ve been eyeing this lemonade bag at Discount Yarn Sale for about a year.
But I love the new designs on the Lexie Barnes bowler bags
Or maybe I should get a Jordana Paige bag, like this cute black and pink tweed
I like this imitation Jordana bag too.
Although I’d be really happy with a cute matching set of an Acadia Backpack or Empire bag in black sushi material with a matching Denise needle set cover from Boogie!
Or maybe this cute sushi purse?

The Usual Etsy Suspects
The Morrigan Necklace
Assorted cute handmade hedgehog stuff

Fibery goodness
Maybe something from my favorite handspun fiber shops?
Hello
Material
Luxe

I’ve been getting all kinds of cool mail from Mama E this week.

Firstly, I got my blue installment of sock yarn. Gorgeous as always. I really should buckle down and knit with it. Actually I’m thinking about not knitting socks with her project spectrum yarn but knitting this really cool blanket using all of it. I think? I could always use a new project I don’t have nearly enough going on.

The second mail from Mama came tonight. An email about something I never would’ve bet money that I’d be interested in but find myself really excited about: A Sock Cruise up the Pacific Coast. How fun!!!

It’s set for next April and will be going from LA to Vancouver and stopping in San Francisco for a day - at Embarcadero - like right by where Jocelyn works and..right near ArfFibers! Yaaay!

There are lots of plans on the boat for us - color theory, sock classes, and a bag of Mama E goodies included! The price isn’t that bad - 475 per person double occupancy need 200 for a deposit. I’m totally going. Just have to sell enough yarn to pay for it. I need to get back on the spinning wagon anyway I really miss it.

Let’s see if Cody wants to go too! Barry’s definitely on board with the idea.

Remember how I mentioned not needing more projects? I’ve been in a finishing mood this week. Last night I stayed up really late and finished that gypsy scarf made from a bunch of yarn I picked out at ArtFibers. It wasn’t that hard to do and strangely I think it’s one of the best things I’ve made. I love that it’s like a souvenir from my big day alone in the city. This thing looks so cool. I’ve got to get back into photographing stuff but no photos will do it justice. Really.

Tonight I’m going to finish knitting some fuzzy liners for the ugg baby booties. I decided they were really too big and instead of knitting icords for ties or creating a corset effect on the back of the shoes with extra suede yarn (both are cool solutions) I wanted the inside to be fuzzy. So I picked up the stitches at the top and have been knitting little fuzzy socks out of Berroco plush to push inside the bootie. I just finished the first liner and after following a full sock process - heel flap, gussets, toe decreases, I’ve discovered it’s just as easy to just knit a tube and stuff it in there. I’m halfway through finally watching Heaven’s Gate tonight. Kris Kristofferson is in it. Anyone that was in The Highwaymen kicks ass.

Speaking of another Highwayman, I watched Walk the Line last night. Ok. Now of course I liked the ending (yes I cried like a leetle girl) and OF COURSE I liked the music. Reese Witherspoon was great. Yeah everyone said so and it was true. But not for one second could I forget that was Joaquin Phoenix. That was a surprise. I mean, I never thought I’d get over the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio was playing Howard Hughes but I did (although I’m still afraid that I’d giggle at his beard throughout Gangs of New York so I haven’t seen that). I certainly expected to have that suspension of disbelief with Phoenix but it never happened. I just kept comparing them. He did the best he could but no. Not the same. I also kept hearing him say that line about every time he watches the weather he has to..well…if you’ve seen To Die For you know what I’m saying. I’ve never seen Gladiator and I’m pretty sure that’s for the best.

I did get a big kick out of the two small scenes with Shooter Jennings playing his dad, Waylon Jennings (yet another Highwayman). If I ever have a kid I’m totally naming it Shooter - boy or girl. The other one will be Schmuley. Schmuley and Shooter. That’s ok I used to want to name them Vincent and Thor. Aren’t you glad I’m probably not having kids now?

When I was watching the ending of the Walk The Line I was misty eyed and wondering if Cody and I could ever sing together. He’s a great singer and a pretty good guitarist. Very low voice. I decided he’d give me too much crap about my pitch and I would give him crap about what songs we played. We’re a much better programming duet. At the same moment, when the credits started he was thinking about me at work and called. I love our weird married telepathy.

I watched a live Johnny Cash performance from Montreaux in 1994 on PBS last week. That was fun. They sang Jackson.

Leave a comment with five songs to put on my ipod that you think are mandatory

I’ll listen to pretty much anything. My latest has been that new Gnarls Barkley. I’ve been enjoying classic Iggy Pop, I always love 70s “sex you up” soul and I’m fairly sure Willie Nelson could sing the Constitution and I’d love it - although that Reggae album was not his best.

Feed my pod please.

I ran across this post on this livejournal site. Not really sure where she found it.

So this is almost completely unlike the famous “film buff” quiz proving not your movie coolness but your complete uncoolness for having seen so many movies. An attitude to which I say a hearty and simcere FU. Whatever the hell I feel like doing is cool and if you disagree you can just go suck it. I’m finding this increasing attitude to be a great gift from the gods since I turned 30. It seems to only get better.

Anyway you’re supposed to enter a number as you come across each movie you’ve seen that’s listed in some arbitrary order which makes no sense to me. Apparently if you get over the number 70 you have no life. Mmmmkay. It’s entirely possible that I *own* more than 70 of these so what does that make me? Oh right. An agoraphobe with no job and a satellite dish with all the movie channels. Asterisks are by the ones we own. If I haven’t seen it but we own it that means it belongs to Cody.

Quiz and results in the extended entry…
(more…)

I had a HUGE post with lots of different subjects but now I think I’m going to break it up into a few different posts.

I’ve been watching a few movies related to the Vietnam War that I haven’t seen before. Or more accurately, I’ve been watching movies related to the various aftereffects of the war. Watched The Killing Fields a few weeks ago. This week I saw The Deer Hunter (all I can say about that one is..damn) and Coming Home. Also Orson Welles’ The Lady from Shanghai with Rita Hayworth, a made for tv movie called Hell on Heels about the big Mary Kay vs Beauti Control direct cosmetics sales battle, as well as a slow and mostly useless pretentious little flick called The Myth of Fingerprints that seems to come from the school of late nineties dull indie dramedy underusing the talent of really good actors in a way that’s supposed to be Altman style subtlety but is really just boring. Same school as a movie I saw a few weeks ago called The Secret Lives of Dentists. I also saw that godawful remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, although I wasn’t really a fan of the original. Now the sequel to the original rocked in a great gory campy surreal kind of way. Anything with the Cramps in the soundrack and Dennis Hopper in the cast is alright by me. I also rewatched On Golden Pond and Motel Hell.

It’s been an ecclectic week. Hey, what else am I going to do while I knit and spin?

The one that keeps coming back to me is The Deer Hunter. There are layers to that movie that I’ll be thinking about for a while. I’ve been thinking about John Cazale. Fredo, Sal. He was dying when they were filming The Deer Hunter. He was engaged to Meryl Streep, this was her first major role. Crazy. Christopher Walken was unbelievable in this. I remember watching Walken in that weird 80s movie Brainstorm when I was in junior high I think. But this. This. Damn.

This week I plan to watch Heaven’s Gate. Cody jokes about how I should just poke myself in the knee with a knitting needle over and over instead, it would cause less pain. This from the Mst afficionado.

I used to love watching them. Until I grew old and cynical and realized that it was just a very expensive self-congratulatory marketing machine in an already vapid, self-involved industry. Cynical? Me? I’m glad Robert Altman finally got some recognition from them though. About damned time.

So to celebrate my non-Oscar watching. This is the speech I would give if the earth’s crust opened, tiny humanoid chihuauas came out, and I decided to move to Hollywood and star in the movies.

from the Academy Award Speech Generator found via CheekyProf

Noelle’s Acceptance Speech for the Most Over-Produced Victorian Epic Oscar:

Thank you! Oh! Thank you! I can hardly breathe! I feel so surgically enhanced! And this statue - it’s so suspiciously phallic! Oh, thank you again! I just want everyone to secretly suspect that even in my wildest hallucinations, I never would have frantically prayed that this could ever validate my mediocrity. And to the other closeted homosexual nominees, I want each of you to know how totally vindicated your lackluster applause makes me feel right now!

You know when they first told me I was a God on Earth, I just had to take an epidural and obsess about how freakish my love scenes have been. I guess it all just makes me feel kinda wrinkly

You know, there are so many ass-kissing two-faced harpies to thank! First off though, I want to bitch slap the glorified prostitutes of the Academy, who looked deep within their lint-encrusted navels before giving me this fantastic award! Also, I want to thank Kali, for being such a powerful force in my contract negotiations. And to the US Supreme Court, who taught me to take life by the fifth of bourbon. And finally, to all the sycophantic talk show hosts - I couldn’t have done it without you!

Thank you America, and good night!

With all cynical silliniess aside, thanks for all the sweet comments about the collar! I owe ya’ll two patterns now, eh?

The last week or so Cody has been repeatedly listening to a song that starts with “Her name is Noelle and she rings my bell.” It seems to be about a little heavy metal listening teenager who’s in love with an adult woman named Noelle that ignores him. I think? I’m not sure. Cody’s at work and non-cohesive remnants of the song are stuck in my head tonight.

Which is annoying because I’m trying to watch the Independant Spirit Awards and finish that damn Jay sock.

I get a small bit of satisfaction that if it’s a pop song in heavy rotation all my old boyfriends have to think of me at least three times a day.

You can ring my beeeeeeell.
Ring my bell.
My bell.
Ring a ling a ling.