November 23, 2004
white house thanksgiving turkey detained without counsel
WASHINGTON, DC— Cousin Wattle, the official National Thanksgiving Turkey who was to have been pardoned by President Bush in an annual White House ceremony that dates back to the Truman administration, is currently being held without formal charges or access to legal counsel, White House press secretary Scott McClellan confirmed Tuesday.
I try to not reference the onion too often or I would end up copying their stuff verbatim every week but this was too funny.
"While we may disagree about the handling of Cousin Wattle's case, most of us can at least agree on one thing," Webster said. "Turkey is incredibly delicious!"
While Wattle remains in custody awaiting a presidential pardon that may never come, the bird's ceremonial duties will be undertaken by his designated alternate, Miss Prissy, a turkey hen whose political beliefs are unknown at this time.