Ok I'm ready for this year to be done now. Seriously. 2004 can just fuck right off. Murphy's law has ruled our lives this year and I'm ready for it to just stop. Now. Every time something bad could possibly happen to our little household it has.

This week? My sixteen-year-old cat has a cataract on her left eye and our three-year-old refrigerator broke.

Last week? the bank in Alabama fucked up my online account access database. And those idiots kept saying it was because I was logging in incorrectly. Uh, no. It ended up being their fault, of course.

Week before that? Hail punctured our porch roof and pummelled hundreds of tiny dents in the car we park outside.

Ad Infinitum-

Our house insurance company insisted that we re-stucco our house, have four huge trees cut down, and get rid of the weeds in our yard.

Every service person I've called this year has either not shown up at all or shown up so negligently late that I had already called someone else.

Cody applied for a job which was given to someone who had been with the company for less time, was younger, had less experience and didn't even have a college degree. His big qualification? He goes to titty bars with the manager. That's really an important part of managing a wireless network for a state lottery. You betcha.

We've been forced to change health insurance to a company that is more expensive and less accessible. I hate my new doctor to the point where I'd rather pay full uninsured price to go back to my old cnp.

We had the first car wreck either of us have had in twelve years by being rear-ended by a woman on her cellphone.

This all happened just over the summer.

We're predicting the following for the rest of the year: locusts, which will cause our plane to crash at Christmas but we'll survive and be stranded in the wilds of Arkansas with the lost cast from Deliverance but won't be back in time for Cody's work so he'll lose his job, while we're away the hedgehog will escape, the cats will eat the hedgehog and all but one will die of peritonitis, the surviving one will set the house on fire before it escapes and spreads a rare airborne hedgehog-related disease in the neighborhood for which we'll be sued upon our return. We also won't have enough money to bail the dog out of the puppy hotel so they'll sell her for food. And still make us pay them. Our house will be foreclosed, our car will break, someone is surely going to get cancer, and there will be at least one bounced check. Oh, and Bush will probably win. Sorry that'll be our fault too even though we won't be voting for him and I'll be in traction or something the week of November second anyway.

I've heard lots of jokes about Bush and co being into bringing the endtimes but the scary thing is that somehow it gets more plausible to me every time someone says it. If things continue like this I won't even mind anymore. I'll even be saying something suicidally nonsensically frat-boyish like "Bring it on!"