Can't you hear the little bell dangling off my hedgehog's antlers up there? I love my new design so much :)

So now that it's actually December I've started the serious present shopping, online of course. I love buying presents. I love finding the perfect present for people - things they might not even know exists but if they did they would really want it. Just my way of spreading holiday cheer without having to get antibiotics involved. Not that *I* need them or anything I'm just saying things can get dangerous during cold and flu season and with my ticky thyroid I can catch things..nevermind.

Just be sure to wash those hands early and often, folks!

Anyway, here are my ideas so far.

This for the three-month-old niece. I just really like the way it looks like a tiny little puppy. And it's kind of stinky like a puppy too except puppies don't usually fart lavender smells when you squeeze em. Hope this child isn't allergic to everything like the nephew or it could be a problem. I dunno I think it's cute. And so is my niece with her little mop of dark curly hair and chubby pale cheeks she looks just like her uncle. Here's to hoping this is the rebellious tattoo-getting little girl that will give her parents the hell they really deserve.

And I get to be Auntie Here honey let me introduce you to my favorite tattoo artist because I know he'll do a good job. I always wanted to be Auntie Mame growing up - the non-singing Rosalind Russell Mame not the Lucille Ball "You charm the husk right off of the corn" Mame. Teaching him her to make martinis for Mr. Woolcott Mr. Wolcott.

Reason number 4,856 we're (probably) not having kids? The thought of getting payback on what I did to my parents gives me vertigo. It's even worse for Cody who was a nice nerdy boy and never did anything wrong.

I'm thinking of this or two of these for the three-and-a-half year old nephew. I know he's been learning to read lately and thought having a little stuffed friend to read to would be good. He's allergic and not allowed near most animals (especially those human ones who smoke). He's going to be the spoiled mama's boy mr perfect pants child I can tell already.

My usual policy is to give the 'phew something educational and really really loud (He-LLO Chicken Dance Elmo!) because I don't like his parents much and I'm a bitch like that. But I'm getting to be a softie and I wouldn't want to wake up the new little one.

The in-laws are tough. I'm thinking of this for my mother-in-law who is next to impossible to shop for but enjoys playing dominoes with her sisters and one of these for the father-in-law who has chronic lower back problems. I never know what the hell to get them. I'm really tempted to get them something where some of the money goes to a good cause like from eziba or gear that gives to counteract their bigoted bush voting ways but it didn't go over too well with Mr. Man when I suggested doing that for father's day.

Every year I tell myself to just let him pick out his family's presents but if I did that they'd never get anything in time and I'd get the blame. I have few actual responsibilities and the birthday-remembering, card-sending, gift-buying tasks are among them. Now if sparks would come back online I could remember everyone's birthday.

I know of two things that would make Mr Man happy but they're both pretty expensive. The second thing is a Direct TV DVR with DVD recorder built in at a whopping 399 bucks or so I swear I didn't hallucinate that late night commercial but I can't find it on the direct tv site for the life of me. So, yeah, Mr Man is probably getting clothes and dvds. Which he'll be perfectly happy with. But I'd love to be able to get him one of those.

Ms Jocelyn's present is already here. In fact, I'd gotten it last month and I'm not giving any hints, missy, so there.

For the cats I'm going to pick up two of these and I'm totally stealing this from Mac but I'm getting a pink leather collar with little silver skull and crossbones for the puppy so SHE can match my ipod too!!

Now for my parents, sister, and her husband..no idea. But I can get that done while I'm in B'ham, which I'm actually looking forward to! Christmas shopping with Dad is quite an experience - he's become Mr Taskmaster in his retirement it's really funny.

I don't think I'm going to send out cards this year. I got some happy bunny ones to send to some people but most of the folks on my list wouldn't understand a christmas card with a cute bunny wearing a santa hat saying, "Santa's Coming!...I think I'm going to throw up." They'd probably take it personally. Well, I have a few nicey-nice Crane holiday cards from last year so maybe I'll sent those out.

I don't think I'm going to do any decorating here this year either. We'll be going out of town anyway and the puppy will be at her exclusive spa resort. Decorations would just be something for phunq to eat and barf up while we're gone. Still no idea whom we're going to have coming in to check up on the cats and hedgehog.

Someone was pimping a nice holiday cd on their weblog this week but damned if I can remember who it was. Anyone remember?

oh my god how cute is this? if you really really love me you'll buy that for me.

Comments

Posted by: Beth at December 4, 2004 4:24 AM

Posted by: Jocelyn at December 4, 2004 9:21 AM

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