**funky scarf swap partner! I've emailed you back again! Please check your spam filter if you don't hear from me today :) **

So I've been working on some custom orders the last few days. Some specifically asked for green so I decided to play with variations on that color with roving and sock yarn. It was fun. They're all still drying and they're in the bathroom so they're badly lit with the flash but here are a few photos I just took.

I have some other spinning jobs to do today. Doing some neutral toned beaded yarn today. I'm very excited about all the work I've been getting lately and really hopeful that I'll be able to pay for a good chunk of the cruise with my own fiber earnings.

But before I go do some work there's something I have to get off my chest. Project Runway is starting to piss me off. (Get it? Piss and Vinegar?)

Now I've been a loyal viewer since the first season. I don't blog about it much because other people write things that are far more interesting about the show than what I could come up with. But I'm a lifelong expert on the recent issues of weight that have come up on the show lately and I have to admit that I'm getting pretty disappointed in what I'm seeing.

Last week there was the whole size four being called "Zaftig", Heidi intimating she'd rather be dead than thought a plus size, the "aufed" designer blaming having a "fat" model on being kicked off the show in an interview. And I don't think she was *that* far off of the mark, either. I got the impression that she was tossed off the show because she designed something that made her model look fat and GODS FORBID someone looked fat.

But I wasn't that surprised. This is an industry that is designed to screw with women's heads and their concepts of self, and finding new things to sell to convince them that they won't look old or fat if they use or wear this or that. It's the first time it was really out in the open on this particular show but since Project Runway is about the fashion industry I've always sensed a little of that attitude floating underneath.

As a matter of fact I wrote about this issue during Season One: Wendy Pepper may have been a jerk, or someone whose footage was manipulated, probably somewhere in between, but whoever designed her clothes usually had various body types in mind and I thought that was commendable.

This week's episode really bothered me on a lot of levels. When the moms and sisters first came out I was delighted. FINALLY the designers were going to be designing for normal sized people. Then the whining started. "Waaah I have to design for fat people!" Boo freakin hoo guys who do you think is going to buy the clothes when you work at International Concepts?

They're supposed to be such impressive designers and they can only design for human coat hangers? Not very impressive to me. Allow me to quote myself from February 2005:

I probably wouldn't wear any of the clothes that came down that runway. If I had to choose one or go out naked I would put on Uli's. At least she took the body into consideration with modern design. It's sad really because these are supposed to be the top designers and only one could come up with a good design? Shame on you all. Back to remedial body concept for you! Get ye to figure drawing classes! Do they even require those for fashion majors? If they don't they really should.

I don't know much about fashion trends. But I frequently get compliments on what I'm wearing because I usually wear something that is fun, reflects my personality, and usually deals well with my short and stout body. I'm not going to kid myself that I'll wear a magic shirt and suddenly lose 100 pounds but one can still be big and look good. Seriously. And it's not really that friggin hard to do. Anyone could learn tips like these from watching a few episodes of What Not to Wear (at least the English one) or, hell, pick up the "Big Girl Knits" book there are some great tips in there!

So here are a few alternative suggestions for the designs that I can remember. I'm not going to get into colors, I'm just interested in the shapes here. If you click on the photos you'll be taken to the store where you can buy them.

Kayne's model would've looked gorgeous with an empire waist with a V neck. They usually flatter any body type. Especially ones with good boobs and pretty skin like Michael's mom. Rather than cropped tapered pants (a worrying trend which I'm going to just ignore like I'm ignoring the return of the gauchos), a boot-legged, flat-fronted pant. How cute would she have looked in this?

Robert could've done kimono sleeves without making a tent. I think his model could've looked lovely and floaty but still had a waist with a crossover design like this top but with some kimono sleeves added and some good shaping in lieu of the belt. And to balance out the top, a straight skirt to a floaty decorated hem with lots of fabric scraps (geometric as opposed to Santino-y) at the bottom.


I think that would have presented the interesting avant-garde kind of floaty shape Vincent's sister seemed to want without having it be so top-heavy and tentlike

Now, the inevitable Jeffrey. I think the major mistake he's made on this show (aside from being mean to someone's mom and a lot of other people on camera) is losing sight of his punk rock roots. He's supposed to be "Mr. Rockstar designer" but I have yet to see anything that lives up to that kind of title really, aside from the really obvious neck tattoos and bad attitude. Angela's mom, having nothing to lose but not looking like a good sport, would probably have enjoyed if he wanted to play "Dress mommy in punk rock clothes" if he'd been nice about it. And wouldn't that have been fun? This was supposed to be his unique perspective that got him on the show right? Adding some punk spice to high fashion? What a wasted opportunity to make it fun and look like a classy guy with a good sense of humor. What a shame. And don't give me any bullshit former addict alcoholic excuses, that should make you have even more regard for human frailties. Anyway, this is what I would've put on Angela's Mom.

I do think that he was on the right track with the neckline, even if he had said that ugly thing about her body issues. She was wearing a more demure neck than the other moms and I don't think she would've been comfortable for it to be too low cut. But there are ways around that. I keep thinking of the new Glampyre Stitch Diva sweater design - a very low cut worn over a higher cut. With the right waist shaping it could look really nice on a plus size body. I came up with two options there. Of course, he couldn't have knit a sweater or sewn a button down and vest in that time, but the basic idea of low cut worn over high cut with good shaping is what I'm after. I think the pants were where the color compromise could have come in. A sheer layer over a solid layer (like the pants on the right) but in wide legged pants (like the pants on the left) kind of thing. She would've looked longer and leaner with them, and not have to show any skin.

They're just my suggestions. But I think they're pretty good ones. I don't have twelve hours to sew them and know absolutely nothing about construction so they could be impossible ideas. I doubt it though. My point really is that there are ways to dress larger women that aren't mumus or boring. And I think it's really sad that these designers don't know that. If they don't know that, how are people who don't know anything about clothing supposed to know that?

So, of course, the designer that had the thinner model won and the one with the fatter model lost. Ho hum. Talk about baaaauuuring, Heidi.

Here are some good plus size clothing stores:
Avenue - I get my pants from here. I love their bootcut jeans and yoga pants.
Torrid - love their tops. I'm young and still have my punkish roots to really enjoy their stuff. They have a half-off clearance sale every month that keeps me in some fun shirts. I have to be careful to not go too young here. I don't have the boobs for halter tops and probably never did to be honest. They also have some great bras.
Kiyonna- Not quite as well-known but really great, simple designs that are pretty current. I have some of their older designs that have held up really well too.
Junonia - plus sized active wear. Some great yoga and swimming stuff.
Silhouettes - some older stuff (read: boring preppy crap) but there are some slick designs and affordable prices.
Nordstrom - is probably the most popular plus size shop for designer names. If I needed a formal dress I'd go here.
I personally don't like Lane Bryant because I found their clothes fall apart sooner than the others. So those were my resources for dressing the ladies.

It took me a few days to feel like knitting again. I would pick a project up sometimes and absentmindedly do a few rows but my heart wasn't in it. I was mostly eating spicy mashed potatoes from Popeyes and watching Tivo. We all have our ways of coping right? The good part is I did get a little housecleaning done. And lots of cuddles from the kitties and Winter. It's funny to say this but they knew something was up with Mom and were all trying to comfort me in their own ways.

Yesterday I officially got back into the knitting groove. While I haven't finished my second Jaywalker sock (almost to the heel) I decided to just pick up my UFOlympic Clappy and see how the rhythm went on working with it again. I hadn't knit a stitch on that thing since September? October? A long time in my knitting world.

I had Tivoed the opening ceremonies so I was a good little UFOlympic knitalonger and started working on le clap while watching almost four hours of pyrotechnics and people in silly outfits. That's probably disrespectful but I had a very hard time not giggling at such odd and melodramatic spectacles as people on ice skates with big flamethowers on their backs shooting fire off the tops of their heads. It was like a weird version of Starlight Express, which is plenty wierd by itself.

The people who formed images like the skiier and the dove were neat though. And, of course, Pavarotti singing Puccini., well I could've watched that all night. I'm enjoying all the footage of Italy as well. I never got that far north when I was there but I did see some snow in Venice. Strangely I have not caught much of the actual sports. Like a complete girl I like the figure skating and that's about it.

But tonight and tomorrow night, I'm sorry but olympics be damned. Westminster's on and that's what I'm watching! I've enjoyed watching it since 1991 when I had a week to decide whether I wanted to stay in Birmingham and go to school or move to Australia with my parents. Even when I didn't have a purebreed dog, nor any real interest to own one, I've watched it. Now that I have a ridgeback that's had a few cousins win best of breed (one even won best of hounds!) you bet your bippy I'm watching. So me and my clap will be doing that this evening. Winter will probably watch a bit too before taking a nap. She watches the screen when I'm watching shows with dogs on them.

As far as progress on clappypants I'm doing pretty well. I'm on my third skein of six and I just finished repeat number five of twelve in the straight section. So I'm about halfway. At this rate I'll be finishing it this week and have time to finish my Jays before the closing ceremony (which will probably be just as elaborate and fiery but I will try to refrain from giggling).

I haven't taken any photos in a few weeks so I don't have images of the superlong airy scarf I knit for my mil or the oddball fuzzyfeet I'm working on for Cody. Or progress on clapster. I'll get some today before I get any work done.

I did officially sign up for Project Spectrum yesterday and just for fun made a few buttons for it, mostly because I hadn't seen any designs with a color wheel and I thought that would be neat. Feel free to take them.

I don't mind hotlinking from my site (I have a very generous host and lots of space I even survived being boingboinged with an audio file and didn't even make a dent in my bandwidth) so if you don't have a lot of space or have trouble working with graphics you offically have my permission to hotlink these buttons. Just these buttons. And just hotlinking from my site my site mmkay? I made different sizes for each too.

Broadway Marquee Style


Painterly Colorwheels




Partdridge Family Bus



Some medication trademark image-looking design with a colorwheel

Enjoy!

So bad. Soooo bad.

I've been pretty busy this week. Went to the Stitch n Bitch (I totally dare SFSE to send C & D letters to knitbloggers) on Tuesday and had fun. Jamie bought me dinner and dessert for this web thing I'm working on with her. And I got all kinds of cool gifties from her too! I also got a bunch of fun gifties from Jocelyn who visited Artfibers to get my giftmas present. I am so super friggin spoiled. Oh, did I mention what I bought for my quitting smoking anniversary? I got a pound of thrums fiber (which is on super-great sale right now) from Spinderella and a city shawl knitting kit. The thrums are already here can you believe it?

Ok so pics..

These are the finished tweedy fuzzy feet before felting.

I felted them tonight because the in-laws were coming by. The photo is terrible because it was still wet and indoors with a flash but I wanted to show how the tweed looked after felting before they left. They did not even think this was odd. So this is the heel.

So they look pretty good. My fil loves his fuzzyfeet. LOVES them. And Cody told me tonight he wanted me to make a pair for him. this is the first time he's asked for me to knit something for him. He's just not a sweater or scarf kind of guy. But fuzzyfeet I can do. And since fuzzyfeet have become sort of my canary project before trying a new sock technique I'm going to do his on 2 circulars. Won't that be exciting? I have no idea what yarn I'm going to use. I might even use the yarn that's leftover from my other fuzzyfeet projects. Wouldn't that be cute and interesting?

And here's my finished Jay

I love this sock. I'm getting very little work done because I keep just looking at the stitch pattern in awe.

You know how new parents are when they just can't stop taking photos of their baby? I'm pretty much like that with everything I knit

And spin

And my puppy

I have good news, I've finally found a religion I can get behind.

There's a music meme going around but since I did that one not too long ago I thought I'd just show the last few songs I've listened to

Wickerman - Pulp
Freedom of Choice - Devo
Time is on my side - Irma Thomas
Rollerskate - Call and Response
Calling Dr. Love - Kiss (heeeeeeee)
Mary Susan - Blood on the Wall
Deceptacon - Le Tigre
You never even called me by my name - David Allan Coe
Don't make me over - Dionne Warwick
This city never sleeps - Eurythmics
(I can't get no) Satisfaction - Cat Power (her new album kicks ass too)

And finally I need to get something off my chest. I've become addicted to Dancing with the Stars. I tivo and enjoy both the Thursday and Friday night episodes. And it's all Beverly's fault. It's also her fault that I'm trying to get Cody to take me to see Pam Houston read at Bookworks tonight.

I'm a fairly new convert to Seinfeld. And Will and Grace actually. I haven't watched local network affiliate channels since 1997 and I have very little patience for shows that aren't in syndication. It takes a lot to convince me that I need to remember when a show comes on every week (Project Runway being one of the very, very few exceptions). But when it's in syndication all I have to remember is four o'clock on TBS or every damn five minutes on Lifetime. No need to wait a whole week! I get two right in a row and two more coming tomorrow! So I may not know what you're talking about with all this Desperate Housewives nonsense but in a few years I'll be able to watch the entire series in a matter of months!

I also used to travel a lot in the early nineties and never really watched The Simpsons or Seinfeld. I heard a lot about Seinfeld mostly because I have a loose family connection with one of the directors/producers so I would hear about stuff that would sometimes end up in the show, or so I was told. A lot of the jokes and catchphrases slowly crept into my life through conversations or blog reading. And sometimes I'd even know what the hell they were talking about!

Anyway I amused the hell out of Cody a few months ago when I said "I've been watching this Seinfeld show and ya know? It's pretty damned funny!" Now that I have my own DVR in the den I'm getting like six episodes a day to watch. And I have to admit, I love the whole festivus thing. I'd heard a few references to it before but Cody had bought the Festivus book for me off the bargain rack in October and I got to watch the Festivus episode last night.

Ironically we're going to be spending our Festivus evening with Cody's parents in Los Lunas tonight. He said I can bring the aluminum pole but the only feats of strength that will be performed will be in the avoidance of the airing of grievances. Now that I have these great new meds I think that will be a fairly easy task!

Speaking of meds, I saw the doc today and he gave me a new thyroid hormone to take. I've actually heard a lot about this one from the thyroid activist lady on about.com. I have mixed feelings about the new pills because these contain ground up animal thyroids. Creepy, yes, but I've heard these are pretty damned effective. And if it works it works right?

Cody and I'll be doing our Giftmas morning present opening tomorrow night and I'm flying to B'ham on Sunday so not sure if I'll have time to post again until Monday. I will be posting a completely self-absorbed brag fest of all my phat lewt sometime because what else is a personal weblog for anyway?

So Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah and Happy Kwanza (not sure when that is exactly), Merry Yule, and have a good weekend.

Well I finally found the time to sit and read the whole damned book. And the character I thought might be the one whose death we were all warned about did indeed die. And I still teared up because I'm a big SAP who takes very very long baths.

I've been listening to Spinal Tap a lot lately. These guys are geniuses. On our way to the in-laws dinner (at an Italian restaurant called Zios that is probably a chain but is still pretty tasty so you can stfu ye chain snobbies out there) we decided to "gird our loins" by listening to "Workin on a Sex Farm". Put me in a great mood and politics only really came up once! Yay!

To mourn the loss of any more Dead Like Me episodes I got season one and two on dvd. I can live with that.

Our Tivo broke sometime in June and I finally got around to calling tech support last week. Turns out our modem got fried. The only damned thing in the office without a surge protector. So we get to shell out 50 bucks and get a replacement shipped from Direct TV. But it's better than 250 at Best Buy. Now I just have to get around to calling them back to order the actual replacement because I said I had to talk with Mr. Man first.

The Life Aquatic was ok. Not Rushmore and certainly not The Royal Tennenbaums (still haven't seen Bottle Rocket) but, as always, Wes Anderson movies grow on me over time and get me obsessed with whatever music is on the soundtrack. In my defense, who wouldn't love Portuguese David Bowie covers, or Nico, or The Faces? But do I think Owen Wilson's absence in writing the script in Aquatic shows.

Oh yeah, and
BIG BOTTOMS, BIG BOTTOMS
Talk about Mud Flaps MY GIRL'S GOT EM!

Since Showtime isn't going to sign up for any more episodes of Dead Like Me its production company, MGM, has been peddling the show to other networks.

Apparently SciFi Channel is considering picking it up - and there's a poll up on their news site this week asking if you'd be willing to watch it on their channel.

There's also a website that's got letter-writing campaigns going on.

It's funny. I was not sad to hear about the next season of Six Feet Under being its last. But ya know? There isn't one character on that show I'd be willing to hang out with. They're all crazy selfish whiny assholes. Trust me, I've watched every. single. episode.

And there isn't one character on Dead Like Me who I wouldn't want to hang with. Even Ellen Muth who sometimes just comes off as a pouty-faced bobblehead doll to me. But hey at least she's cranky in a funny way.

This isn't always my criteria for liking a movie or show but watching the people in Six Feet Under constantly make the wrong decision when faced with a choice in their lives then whine when shit gets on them for the last four years is really starting to get on my nerves.

I only said Jews were going to hell on camera because I thought it was going to be shown in an obscure middle-eastern country. Who knew the damned reporter was going to ask actual non-scripted questions I didn't know how to deflect easily?

I (heart) sacha cohen. Is comedy news the only way to get honest information these days or what?

In personal news-

I bought a few bathing suits for the first time in fifteen years so I could swim at the gym I joined a few weeks ago. I wore one tonight at my friend's apartmenthouse pool. The water was very cold but I swam anyway. It was fun. Most of them are old-timey with little skirts and halter tops and are quite cute in an Esther Williams kinda way. I'm even thinking about getting one of these hilarious flowery swimcaps to complete the ensemble.

I also bought new underpants so at this very moment the word "Rockstar" is on my butt in pink with little rhinestones. I'm starting to get into this tacky underwear trend.

We now get local channels via satellite but only on the tivo receiver the others are way too old - like from 1997. So now I can actually watch current Ellen Degeneres shows! Although it seems to be on hiatus at the moment.

I have many episodes of Monk to watch on the tivo. Six Feet Under just isn't as fun without Aaron's overanalysis but at least the new guy is prompt.

I got my dad a gift certificate for itunes for father's day. With that and a few months of netflix from my sister he's mr cool online dad. Mom got another year's subscription to the online wsj and flowers. Aren't my geeky parents cute?

I've been playing poker on pogo a lot so come see me there - I'm nolnoodle1972. Also I have a few free guest passes to the ClubPogo service so let me know and I'll send you one.

Also I've been meaning to add my im account info to the page but keep forgetting so I'll try to remember to do that in a minute.

The birthday present poll is still up but I'm kind of thinking about a nicer 4+ megapixel digital camera now rather than an ipod.

I'm going to try to get to the Satellite Coffee Kerry Meetup since we came too late for Moveon.org's bake sale a few months back. Hopefully they have the same pet-friendly policies as their Flying Star franchises.

Non-personal news-

Republican National Convention outsourced fundraising calls to India

via this and this site

Interesting sites I've visited recently are tolerance.org, the Anti Defamation League, Harvard's really cool Project Implicit and Gear that gives. It's a long story what I was looking into there but if you've never been to these sites they are definitely worth a look.

I was watching an odd 1942 Cary Grant / Ginger Rogers movie called Once Upon a Honeymoon the other night and it was such a cool surprise to hear Rogers recite the original pledge of allegiance.

Tonight I watched a documentary about child beauty pageants and a show on discovery health about women with munchausen by proxy syndrome.

One group decorates their little girls to they look like bar whores and the other injects their children with insulin and falsify medical records for unneccessary surgery. All so these pathetic people can get attention through their kids. Reason number 1012 why I have social phobia and avoid leaving the house.