I don't think I've participated in this before but I have some great photos to share this morning.

First, I got a box in the mail yesterday from my knitflix partner!

The Fifth Element ultimate edition (Cody is equally excited about this dvd), green apple candy corn, lots of popcorn, cute little knitting notecards, burt's bees lipbalm (how did she know?), an adorable little black sheep measuring tape, and some beautiful handdyed purple sock yarn! I believe that's louet gems pearl? It's lovely!

The orange monster was actually a gift from Cody but I got him at the same time as I got the box so he's friends with the other stuff.

Scout's gonna be all over this handdyed sock yarn these are her colors yo

And I love the little black sheep measuring tape. Especially the "retract" button that is an actual button.

Totally cute. Thank you Gwen!! I'm also really excited that she liked all the goodies in the box I sent her! I had a good time picking it all out.

I had an appointment with mr chiropractor guy early this morning and I knew it was the first day of the Balloon Fiesta and we'd be driving close to the park so I brought my camera with me so I could take photos while Cody drove. It's really hard to capture the sheer number of balloons floating around at the same time, especially when going 55 mph and facing the sun, but I tried.

Lots of photos. Lots.

First we have my third installment of Yarn Stash Appreciation Sunday. This week? Amazing handspun yarn (usually) bought from the artists themselves.

There are closeup photos in the Flickr Set so I'll just briefly tell you about each yarn. Clockwise starting from the top left: Two hanks Raspberry Tea by Maisy Day from Hello Yarn, Three different yarns (Pink thick and thin, blue thin, Santa Fe Rainbow thick and thin) from Sandstone Ranch.
Bottom Row from the right: Three big skeins of yarn (two green, one pink) from the Jitterbug shawl kit from Hello Yarn, in the bottom left corner are three skeins of lovely wool and silk from Greenwood Fiberworks, and above that is the unbelievable light sensitive yarn from Material Whirled.

Aren't they beautiful? I highly recommend each and every one of those spinners. And yes, there seems to be an awful lot of pink there. This wasn't exactly done on poipose but I certainly don't think it hoits.

Next, I finished the little collar project for Winter. I ended up just sewing the fabric inside and not making it a collar cover - just a collar itself. We never use her collar for the leash anyway, we always use a halter for that.

It's soft and it fits her nicely.

Oh, and here's something else I finished last night..

Yep! Finished my Jaywalkers! I even sewed the ends in. Go me!

Even though I made them a good bit taller than the original pattern, I still only used one skein of that Cherry Tree Hill Birches. Less than a yard to spare but just one skein. Which means I can make another pair of socks in this fun color.

Now, there's this backyard meme going around but to be honest. You really don't want to see my backyard. It used to have trees (that had to be cut down due to a fungus or something), and it had a big yard of grass with built-in sprinklers. But we both believe that having a yard is both a pain in the ass and completely an irresponsible thing to do in the desert so now it's mostly dirt with weeds and a lot of dog poop. So I'm going to show the parts of my backyard that I like.

This gargoyle that guards our back door.

Our only remaining full-sized tree

And this.

No, not the arroyo drainage construction that's been going on behind our house since last May. Nor the gross red wooden fence. But my little desert savannah camoflage dog.

Of course she makes the den pretty fun too

If you're curious about what the rest of the house looks like (with a few changes since this was made in early 2002) check out my eerily accurate Sims recreation of our house.

It is so cold. So so so so cold. Cold. So. Damn. Cold.

Bottle of water in the car frozen solid cold. Opening the door for the be-sweatered dog and she looks at me like I'm completely insane cold. As Cody and I sometimes say: it is butt-ass cold.

Cold.

Just thought you'd want to know.

ETA: See?

Two days in a row of public events with lots of other people and plenty of walking. It will take days to recover. We went to the zoo this evening. There was a City of Albuquerque thing going on for all the workers and their families. Since both Cody's parents work for the city they invited us to go. There were so so SO many people there. Apparently the city has 6000 workers. Add a spouse and a few rugrats and that's a whole lot of people to squeal loudly and invade my personal germaphobic space while I look at the incredibly cool porcupine with the prehensile tail.

I've wanted to go to the Zoo since we've moved here because I've heard it's pretty nice. And what I saw of it supports that. I'd compare it with the Taronga Zoo in Sydney. But I've only been to three zoos as far as I can remember: Birmingham, Memphis, and Sydney; so I'm not exactly an expert on zoos.

Well I didn't see all of it today because we didn't get to go until 5:30 and most of our time was spent eating a free hot dog and waiting in line for the little zoo train. I usually love zoo trains and have many fond memories of riding the one at the Birmingham Zoo. The one here in Abq is fairly new and mostly shows the back of the exhibits and the work in progress on the train that will be going from the Zoo to the Aquarium. But since it was free today we got our money's worth.

It got dark fairly early too and since it usually closes at five they don't have the place very well lit. So we mostly got to see the indoor exhibits. But Cody's dad has some freebie tickets from something else so we're going to go back in a month or so.

Since it got dark and it was pretty overcast today anyway I didn't get very many photos.

There are some great rescue stories about aquarium animals displaced by Katrina. And being fostered at different zoos.

I've read a few interesting posts on other weblogs today. And while I'm sorry to read about anyone having a bad time in their heads it is encouraging to see folks get a better understanding of what it's like to have depression because I know for a lot of people it's very hard to understand. They honestly just don't know why people with depression can't "just cheer up." And to a certain extent I can understand why they feel that way.

This is the best way I've been able to describe depression: Imagine having a crazy mean old aunt who is always saying bad stuff about you, what you look like, and everything you do. You can't do, say, wear, make, or cook anything that satisfies her - there will always be something wrong with it and she will voice her objections loudly and in the meanest most painful, hurtful way she possibly can. She's also really good at dredging up stupid things you've said and done many years ago and nagging you about them. Or the mean things other people may or may not have said about or done to you in your lifetime.

Ok, imagine if that aunt spoke using your own voice. And she lived in your own head. And every day you had to keep telling that mean aunt voice in your head that she should just shut the fuck up. While trying to keep a "proper" sense of self-awareness and reality because the worst part is sometimes that goddamned mean old aunt voice is right and your food sucks or you really shouldn't be wearing that shirt out in public.

This kind of internal struggle is very, very tiring. It makes building enough energy to get off the sofa very hard sometimes. Especially when the aunt is telling you that there's no point in moving your big lazy ass (which keeps on spreading by the way) because whatever you're getting up to do, you'll just mess it up anyway. Arguments are tiring, imagine having them with yourself all the time every day.

Bear in mind I'm talking about clinical not situational depression, which is a valid form of depression, of course, but situational depression usually goes away sometime (but it might be a long time) after the situation that triggered it. Clinical depression usually doesn't. Situational depression is easier for most people to understand. It's perfectly normal to be depressed over the loss of a parent, an ugly divorce, losing everything you own or people you love because of a natural catastrophe. It's not as easy to understand being depressed for no tangible reason. But worse things happening to other people doesn't mean that your pain and depression isn't valid. It's not a contest. No one wins the big righteous depression prize.

People deal with the depression in different ways: some get defensive and feel the need to make everyone else just as unhappy as they are, others want to go to bed for about a year or stay in the house all the time because the voice tells them they're not worthy of human company, or maybe they just seem like sleepy or angry misanthropes. Some people do them all and more, depending on the time of day or general temperature. A lot self-medicate with food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, or pet or object hoarding which is a whole new fun thing for the aunt voice to bitch about - creating an amusing self-destructive cycle.

For some people the antidepressant medication is neccesary. It doesn't exactly mute the aunt entirely but it distracts her a good deal. And her mean comments don't sting quite as much when she does make them. For some people its like a miracle when the meds work. For others its creepy to be so numb and they try to control it with physical or psyhciatric therapy. My feeling is that the meds make me able to get off the sofa and go out into the world. I still can't drive but that's not exactly the aunt that's something else.

Like I said it's kind of neat to see other people get a better understanding of what this is like. Not that I wish these kinds of feelings on anyone. Oh god no. It's just comforting to see more people get a better perspective on something that's a horrible condition to have anyway that gets magnified when people don't understand and tell you to "just cheer up."

We went to the fair yesterday and Cody took lots of photos while I spent hours on end at Sheep to Shawl. On the way home I rented a spinning wheel from Village Wools.

These are my favorites from the batch

here in the us we fry whatever will stay still long enough to be dipped in batter

the incredibly patient sheep to shawl spinning demonstrators

The spinning wheel I've rented for the next two weeks (at a very reasonable ten dollars a week!) is the exact same one the lady in the middle is working on. It's a Lendrum Double Treadle Foldup. This is pretty much the wheel we've decided to buy someday.

That cold throttled me for about two days. Monday night my fever got up to 102.6 and I had to take a cold bath to bring it down. Boy that was fun! But I stayed around 101 for about 24 hours. Then it broke. Now I sound like Janis Joplin but I feel perfectly fine. My parents are visiting until Sunday but they usually get a hotel room or vacation rental up in Santa Fe and drive down to see me. They like Santa Fe. And staying in hotel rooms or vacation rentals. They really don't like all the pets and their accompanying hair. Cody likes his privacy and houseguests tend to make him nervous. So it all works out.

Hell, I'd live up there again if we could get jobs and be able to afford getting a decent house. I wonder if Cody would. It's got a lot of great things like art, food (my GOD the FOOD), a fairly relaxed, liberal population for the most part, and it's about two thousand feet higher and usually about ten degrees cooler than Albuquerque. Oh and it gets more snow which I consider a bonus in this particular case. But it has some extremely annoying aspects like the real estate property values being just obscene, to the point where people who have had families living there for centuries can't afford to pay the taxes on their house anymore, are forced to move and can usually only get tourist-dependant jobs so they resent like hell anyone who isn't from there, and, in some cases, with good reason. One case that comes to mind is the person I like to call the "Hippiecrite" who drives their SUV like a complete asshole, running over people in the local natural foods grocery store parking lot to get to their cruelty-free veal, honestly believing that they are morally superior just because of their groceries.

I used to think folks like that were funny but my tolerance has deteriorated over the years. Don't get me wrong, I respect one's right to buy local cruelty / phosphate / preservative / animal-testing / msg / rainforest-destruction-causing / non-recycled, non-recyclable / non-renewable source / bleach / wheat / sodium lauryl sulfate / non-fair trade global conglomerate - free products..but it doesn't mean you're excused from behaving like you're still a member of polite society and stopping at the crosswalk, waiting in line, honoring the general personal space rules just like everyone else is doing. Is it too much fo ask for people to have an equal amount of respect for other humans in the way you do for the poor fuzzy animals you have every right to refuse to eat, wear, or have as a household pet?

Ok this was supposed to be about my day in Santa Fe today. Back on track.

So yesterday my parents and I went to see Fever Pitch at the dollar theater down the mesa from my house. I haven't been to a movie in a long time and it was something that wouldn't involve too much moving around since I was still feeling punky yesterday. There weren't a lot of options since I'm a fully admitted snotty bitch when it comes to movies. But Fever Pitch was a perfect choice considering that my mom and I both like Nick Hornby novels, my dad loves baseball, and I'm a big sucker for romantic comedies. It was cute. In some ways I liked the original with Colin Firth better. It was a little more grown up and introspective, not going for the laughs or quite as much cutesy-poo-romantic moments as the American remake. But we each had a few laughs and, hell, for seventy-five cents a ticket who can complain?

This morning my Dad drove down to pick me up, we stopped at Starbucks, then went back up to Santa Fe to spend the day. On the way up I knitted and we discussed politics and religion. Fun! No, really! I could drink a coffee beverage, talk politics and religion with Dad, and knit a La Boheme scarf on giant addi turbos all day long and be a happy woman. He always has something interesting and thought-provoking to say and, well, it's a relief to know that he's just as cynical (moreso!) than I am about organized religion. So I was already a happy woman.

Then we picked my Mom up at the hotel and went to the yarn store! Bliss! I have to say that, while my last few experiences with Albuquerque's lys were not nearly as unpleasant as my first few..the one in Santa Fe is much, much nicer. And a LOT more organized, the lady there was extremely plesant and helpful, and the stock was CHOCK full of Koigu. I spent a good hour squeezing and petting yarn in the morning then we went back around four where I did more squeezing and petting and picking out my birthday present from my parents. I loved what Karen made with Giotto and finally got to see and feel some in person so I picked out four skeins and a colinette giotto pattern book, a gigantic size 19 / 43 inch pair of addi turbos for the next la boheme shawl, some fiber trends patterns I've been eyeing, and, yes, some koigu. I've joined the Koigu cult.

After the first trip to the yarn store we ate at a small restaurant called Mucho Gusto that was in the same building. It was small and quaint. And, yeah, I'd say it was mucho gusto. Interesting menu with a combination of Nouvelle Mexican cuisine and authentic Mexican food. I got a Turkey Mole Enchilada. The mole was from scratch and totally amazing.

Then we walked down towards the plaza, stopping in a few stores on the way. And the new Wyeth Hurd Gallery where the gallery worker took one look at us and immediately assumed he would need to explain the Wyeth family to us. Hehe. I informed him that we're quite familiar with the Wyeth family, that Henriette is my favorite but my Dad's is Andrew. And pointed out a print from Andrew's Helga series for Dad. Then I found a lovely signed print (14/350!!!) of a black iris painting by Henriette and joked with my mom about how that's what I wanted for my birthday.

I showed my dad the public library since he'd never seen it. Then walked across the plaza to a clothing store I really like. When my family comes out here for Christmas we usually buy an outfit or two for my sister. But we didn't get anything this time. First off, they confused me for a tourist and sent me to the way ugly and overpriced racks in the back (and after they used to call me when they were having a private sale! bastards!). Then the clothes just weren't as appealing this time. I saw several knit items I thought I could make for myself (including a dropped stitch cardigan that could be made in Giotto). Thirdly, their prices for the summer opera / tourist season are a friggin joke. Or I've gotten cheaper. Both are probably the case.

As someone who lived in Santa Fe for six years and graduated from college there it's quite strange to go back as a tourist. But believe me, I share the fact that I used to live there and now live down in Albuquerque as soon as possible in any store clerk conversation. I may have even sold them sandwiches, made them a latte, poured or glazed their tiles, or booked a relative's hotel room. I don't go that far, I just try to slip in the fact that I am a bonafide tax-paying resident of the state as casually as I can. My casualness usually fails. Probably no one really cares they just want me to buy shit for their commission or go away. Although most would start by asking where I got the cool red purse!

After the second trip to the yarn store we drove north on part of the "High Road" to Taos to one of my favorite places in the world where I hadn't been in a few years: Shidoni. It's a metal foundry with a huge sculpture garden. There are always interesting sculptures in a variety of styles and materials. I've spent a lot of time walking around there and watching castings in the foundry. For a while I thought about interning there after getting my degree in sculpture but changed my mind. This was the first time I'd gone into the glassworks gallery next door as well.

We drove back down to Santa Fe and followed my old sandwich delivery route up Canyon Road.

Then went to dinner at a restaurant my roommate and I used to visit a lot called the Zia Diner and had meatloaf with green chiles and pinons. Yum.

from the Clovis News Journal

According to kobtv, one observer joked that with the right combination of ingredients, the burrito could have been a deadly weapon.

You know those sites that make the voices in your head screech every time you go but you just can't keep yourself from visiting every once in a while? You know what I'm talking about here. It's like watching the trashiest of talk shows, the goriest of "caught on film" episodes, or the most intellectually insulting sitcoms. Or that new "Showdogs Moms and Dads" show on Bravo. But online.

Maybe your self-torture runs toward the cringeworthy Rotten.com, or the strangely entrancing Whowouldbuythat.com. Or you get your rocks off on politically-charged head rush endorphins by looking at propaganda sites like The Heartland Institute, Town Hall, or The Family Research Council.

This week mine has been visiting the Duke City Fix every day. I said I was hopeful about the project but that doesn't mean I'm an idealist. And if I didn't genuinely care about it I would've visited once, scoffed, and never gone back. On the surface I've never been much of a proponent for tough love but I guess I have been known to give the people I trust and care more about more shit than those I wouldn't poke with a long stick - because I respect them and trust that they respect me enough to take my opinion seriously. My criticisms about the site aren't meant to be dismissive of the project - in fact, I really hope that, since I seem to be heard by a few of those involved, what I say here might actually make a difference.

With a few exceptions, it's been pretty clear to me that while there was a whole lot of technical planning for the site infrastructure and design (both are great, btw, but I do get a bit annoyed having to do a captcha word with every comment - Maybe if there's the ability to create a membership and avoid it - although I have no experience with the Nucleus publishing software they're using so maybe not) there's still a lot of work to be done on who the site's audience is and focusing on what exactly they want to tell that audience.

This is a basic facet of writing and is required in publishing. When I worked for Woman Santa Fe magazine in 1997 a good part of our meetings were about defining this exact subject and how well our features, sidebars, and even our advertising fit in to that target readership.

From what Chantal, the editor, told me in her email, it's aimed towards people who go "out and about" in Albuquerque. Well, I have to say that the last two posts from this admitted agoraphobic have had more to do with going out and about in Albuquerque than the articles that have been on there the last few days. There has been a post about how personal hygiene affects one's success (if you'd want it) with a surface-oriented person on a date (and I've been told that there was an article about this exact subject in the Albuquerque Journal last month!), a great and gigantic article about free press, editorialism, and funding, and an editorial about an executive level weed pulling day for the City of Albuquerque with fudged statistics. That one about the weeds got a whole lot of comments. Which were then closed.

Duke City Fix is a cityblog by the people, for the people??

I'm starting to wonder if the people behind this (whom I don't already know do so) have ever published anything on the web. If you're going to accept comments you're not always going to have control over them, that's just how it goes. And that's the beauty of accepting comments from the general public - issues will come up the writers had never thought of. But the general rule of thumb is to let the comments go until there's serious threatening or trolling going on. And then it's preferable to target and zap the troll not the comments. So if the comments are going to get shut down like that I'm wondering what the point of accepting comments is.

I'll admit I've thought a lot of things about this site - and a lot of them haven't been pleasant and probably overly critical. But the editor lost a lot of my respect by bringing up such a potentially heated subject (money, politics, and government is guaranteed to bring out strong opinions) then shut the comments down even when they hadn't gotten that uncivilized. So the editor wanted to post an editorial to get our hackles up about using city funds for a thinly-veiled re-election campaign without facts other than what she directly observed yesterday morning and vague guessing without providing the public a chance to respond openly and without fear of reprisals.

The ability to publish opinions and make them freely available to the public is the point of publishing an independent web-based media, right?

I really wonder now who this site is for. Is it for the authors (who apparently were random website picks and personal friends of the creator) to have a place to talk about the kind of stuff they could be talking about on their own personal sites? Just, like, whatever they feel like writing (from dirty fingernails to armageddon themed mailers) with no accountability or consistency?

There's been this whole weblog vs. the mainstream media argument going on ever since before the presidential election. Talk about making weblogs more accountable for what they publish. Which, for the most part, isn't necessary because the weblog world tends to self-regulate and do the fact-checking. Publishing provocative articles without any established facts then not allowing the public to respond freely is a great way to present argumentative fodder for those who support cracking down on weblog regulation and accountability.

On a personal site all executive decisions are up to the main person. Their blog their rules. But group weblogs (particularly those who are claiming to represent an independent cross-section of a whole damn town) should follow a different set of rules. The argument has been made that since there are so many writers the subject can't be controlled. Not buying it. There are very easy ways to make it so an article by a certain member isn't immediately published and has to be approved by the editor. A bit controlling, yes, but probably a necessity to protect the integrity of the site - and no less so than the seemingly random number and recruitment of the writers.

So is the Duke City Fix (a name my native husband seems to resent highly in that he thinks that the name itself implies that a bunch of outsiders are offering their graced opinions on how to fix a broken city - but a name I defended to him as more of a jokey heroin slang thing) for people who've never been to Albuquerque? I wonder this because if you read the site odds are you know about the Frontier already. If you don't know about the Frontier and you live in Albuquerque then you probably won't be reading the site. I tried to be kind in my comment about The Frontier being the Cafe du Monde for Albuquerque because I'm genuinely trying to encourage this lofty ideal of keeping things positive about Albuquerque. Even if the woman who told me about the ideal wasn't doing it either when she wrote a critical presumptive article then shut down the comments.

I like to think of myself as a constructive criticizer though. And I can't stress enough my high hopes for the site. (Again, if I didn't care I wouldn't waste my precious relaxing knitting time writing about it)

These are my suggestions to make it appear as a more representative independent group weblog:

Wow. Lots of feedback on that last post. And a letter from the editor herself wanting to make it very clear that babyboomers are not their target audience, rather, people who like to "go out and about" in Albuquerque. Unless you like to go do things around the westside. Ok, that was a cheap shot I'm just kidding.

I'm still a chain coffee drinking non-La Montanita shopping westside suburban blogger but there's an additional non-qualification in that I'm a semi-agoraphobe who doesn't drive therefore I don't get "out and about" very often. And when I do it's usually to some evil corporate chain store or restaurant on the westside (or, God forbid, the Rio Rancho dog park because there aren't any City of Albuquerque dog parks nearby) and somehow I get this intangible feeling of being judged for that from these folks.

However! One thing that I find very attractive in this new venture (aside from the fact that I was quoted in an article and didn't notice that before. Thanks Kelly!) is the attempt to focus on positive aspects of Albuquerque. Which could be a great help towards a better general attitude here as long as its a guideline that's followed. Unfortunately I think there are already some articles that don't exactly provide a positive unifying attitude.

It's the elitist (and I don't mean to encourage anti-intellectualism here I mean the textbook definition of the term) attitudes that people who live in a certain place, eat at certain restaurants or drink fair trade coffee are somehow superior to people who live in another place, eat at chain restaurants or drink chain store coffee that kind of pisses me off - and actually gives me a better perspective on the crazy christian backlash that took place everywhere last christmas.

That whole "Goddammit I'm Christian and there's nothing wrong with it you big fat pagan slut! Let me celebrate the birth of Christ with the tacky commercial glee for which The Man died on the cross (in a really long violent gross way now available on DVD!) without crazy guilt trips or having to use the more religiously tolerant 'Happy Holidays'. What I believe in is the only true thing on this whole damn planet and anyone who thinks or believes otherwise is a terrist" kind of commentary that was on shows like crossfire and republican pundit weblogs last December. And while I certainly don't agree with it I almost understand that level of defiance right now. It's very similar to the kind of attitude I would take when I was a smoker in a non-smoking restaurant: "I'm a smoker, motherfucker, you got a PROBLEM with that?"

Is there somehow a way to focus on the small, interesting, and/or local without intimating that to support or be otherwise is a bad thing? A way to prove your point without cutting the other side down? Surely there is...

The whole "Alternative Albuquerque" thing is fun. But in some cases it reminds me of my art student days in Alabama where I enjoyed wearing Liberty overalls, but in an ironic way. Or going on road trips and stopping in strange little out of the way barbeque restaurants to eat then would make fun of the redneck patrons when I got back in the car. I had even thought about writing a book called "The Surrealist's Guide to the South" showing all the crazy roadside attractions, truck stops, and restaurants available to people willing to take the chance and brave the southern highways.

But this was when I was twenty and hadn't quite caught on to the concepts of nuance and relativism. There's a very fine line between enjoying the culture-encapsulating weirdness of poppy kitsch and being a derisive satirical snot. Not a line I'm be able to balance very well either, I know.

I'm just as guilty about thinking I'm somehow morally superior to people who drive gigantic SUVs, who don't spay or neuter their pets, or those crazy superskinny fashionistas. And there's that whole reading for fun thing. I've said it before, we all have our prejudices. And I clearly expressed a few of mine in my last post.

That said, there's good potential here. An opportunity to make changes in how things are communicated in Albuquerque, to change attitudes and assumptions about people who have pitched their tents in other camps, even if it is the next one over, and possibly to affect actual change to how the city works. I sincerely hope that happens.

And no I'm not saying that because I was quoted there, you damn cynics.

So there's this new group weblog / online magazine kind of thing for Albuquerque called the Duke City Fix. It looks interesting and already has some good posts. But it definitely is presenting a very specific we're soooo alternative view of the town. Call me the nitpicking Affirmative Action Head Counter but, as far as I can tell, only one actually grew up here, I don't think any are Hispanics and, of course, there's nary a westsider. So, like I said, this is a very specific perspective on Albuquerque.

But, hey, if you live on the east side of the river, particularly in Nob Hill, eat organic food, visit martini bars and art openings, dig 50s Route 66 type kitsch, especially if you are a baby boomer you are their target market. Go read and enjoy.

No, I'm not bitter for not being invited as the singular westside blogger. Am not! Like they'd have my national chain coffee drinking, non-La Montanita Co-op shopping ass. I don't exactly fit their profile. But I don't fit any profile. And that's not by accident baby.

I'll admit, I actually got a slight thrill when I first moved to New Mexico from that Birmingham Methodist greek fraternity hell liberal arts college where I had been considered a freak for wearing black and being an art major. I actually felt conservative compared to most of the students at The College of Santa Fe. It was such a novelty to be comparatively conservative with the people in the room after being surrounded by Bush Sr voters - especially that night in Kyoto during the interim trip to South Korea and Japan when Clinton was inaugurated and I was the only one in the group, including the professors, who had voted for him. Lemme tell you, THAT was fun. In the end I drank a lot and sang Frank Sinatra songs in the style of Johnny Rotten in the hotel's karaoke bar.

But when I moved to Santa Fe I never quite felt that I fit in there either.

On a more positive note I have been invited to take part of this really cool woman-goddess-centered group weblog called Every Woman is a Goddess. It's a fun bunch and the type of posts vary from personal essays to poetry to links. I was totally flattered to be asked to join.

You can visit but please don't move here I saw someone write that in a post about Albuquerque being one of the top suburban sprawl cities in the Rocky Mountain Time Zone the other day and while I usually agree with the opinions of the man who wrote it that statement struck me as awfully hypocritical for someone I'm fairly sure wasn't born here either. In fact I'm pretty sure none of the more popular Albuquerque bloggers are originally from here. So I guess they're allowed to move here but not you.

I was just reading an article about April 2006 being the 300th anniversary of Albuquerque's founding - only about twenty-five other cities in the US are older. What was amazing to me, aside from the long, rich and bloody history of my adopted town, were the numerous references to the western sprawl. Guess where the author of that article was born? Natchez, Mississippi. Seriously he admitted it right in the first paragraph.

I guess I'm a little defensive as one of the rare westside Albloggers, or at least, one who's willing to admit it. No we don't live in one of those zero-lot McMansions in Taylor or Ventana Ranch. In fact, we live in a house that was built the year before I was born. The beautiful yuccas in our yard are older than me. And don't give me shit about where we live - I wanted a house in the NE heights but we couldn't find one we could afford with the shitty jobs we could get.

One thing I can't help thinking about when these folks get their feathers so ruffled about western sprawl is the fact that most of the people I've met who live in those cul-de-sac prefabs were born here. Most of them are young (usually Hispanic) families with small kids who can't afford to live in those lovely old cement block with stucco homes with the mature landscaping in the northeast heights - whose values have skyrocketed. Maybe because people have moved here from more expensive places and have bought them for well over their actual value? Combine the cost of housing with the constant sad state of available jobs in this town and whammo you've got the dreaded sprawl.

If you want to see really bad suburban sprawl get on 280 in Birmingham and head south. That town is sliding south - leaving empty unused office buildings Downtown and abandoned Eastwood malls in its wake. One of the biggest attractions when I moved to Santa Fe (but it applies to Albuquerque as well) was the fact that the downtown was still being used. That was such an important thing to me coming from a town at just the beginning of its recent southerly trip.

I can't help thinking about the downtown renewal project, the conversion of that old high school into lofts, and, hell, turning that old abandoned Wal Mart building into a Lowes on the west side.

So, yes, there are lots of new houses and people and the traffic is abysmal here. Let's talk about five o'clock traffic in Atlanta and Los Angeles. It's happening all over folks. There are more people living further out and driving themselves alone in a single car all over the place. Maybe we should start looking into decent public transport and better jobs as a viable solution rather than just declaring the whole town off-limits to outsiders like the xenophobic Moh-ron in the White House has done to anyone with brown skin and a vaguely Arabic-sounding name who wants to visit the US.

I think it's great everyone is so possessive of Albuquerque because it's a wonderful town in a lot of ways - mostly because of its propensity for absorbing whatever culture it comes in contact with. But I just can't help smelling that musky scent of hypocrisy when I see people curl their lip and reference the "western sprawl" without really considering who, exactly, it is doing the sprawling and why they're doing it.

C'mon guys...I like it here. Please don't make me have to move again. My garage has way too much crap in it to go through that.

Anti-Gay Protest Starts at UNM

Thanks again, Mr. Hinton, for the link.

Remember the guys who beat up the gay couple in Santa Fe? (Referenced here and here) Just got a comment from someone who claims to know two of the guys who did it.

Sorry Phillip but I'm not buying it. I've hung around plenty of nineteen year olds from all kinds of different backgrounds and can't think of one time when I heard "let's go beat up those faggots." If I had I would've taken a serious look at who my friends were.

Assaulting a person (or animal in most states) is illegal. Beating up someone because of their race, religion, or sexual orientation just makes you look like an even bigger asshole. And even if the "gay hate" wasn't intentional their use of the word "faggot" as an insult sure made it look that way.

Maybe because of hate crime laws like this people will re-think using words like gay and faggot as insults (not to mention beating people up for any reason). Because personally I think that use of the words encourages a subconscious feeling of antagonism and in a way encourages hate crimes.

Either way, they put a guy in the fucking hospital. Just because they're rowdy young men doesn't mean they can get away with hurting another person like that. And just because they're (stupid irresponsible) "kids" doesn't mean that they shouldn't be held responsible for their actions. I'll be the first to admit that I made a lot of mistakes when I was nineteen but not one fucking time did my actions put someone in the hospital and I can tell you right now that I've never used the word "faggot" in a context that could be misconstrued so badly, even when referencing firewood.

Following up the article from last week. The good news is the guys who were attacked are healing and the creep with the previous rape charge is probably going to be tried as an adult.

Ok, this is just fucking awful anyway but what the hell is a man convicted in 2003 for criminal sexual penetration of a four and a half year old child doing on probation?

found at mjh

Thank you Michael!

I've never been a big fan of Domenici and I think by now he's well aware of that. All emails or faxes I've sent to him about various issues (from abortion to gay rights) have been met with snide, condescending form letters. I very, very rarely agree with how he votes. And he doesn't seem to care what we who oppose him think.

But I do trust Bingaman to ask pertinent questions if we ask him to do so. He has a history of usually voting in a way I agree with, although, not always.

I'll send them both a fax alert and pass this information along to other New Mexico webloggers.

New Mexico and nuclear issues have a very interesting history together. From Los Alamos to White Sands to WIPP. We're a weird state. Sometimes as conservative as any bow-tied talk show pundit. Other times, we're more liberal than we are with our chile sauces (and that's really liberal).

So it honestly could go either way. After what happened with Cosgrove this week I'm a lot more optimistic about the changes webloggers can make. So spread the word and call your senators!

Contact them in Washington. Tell them you are a New Mexico Voter.

Senator Pete Domenici:
phone:(202) 224 – 6621
fax: 202-228-0900
email: http://domenici.senate.gov/contact/contactform.cfm

Senator Jeff Bingaman:
phone: (202) 224 – 5521
fax: 202-224-2852
email: senator_bingaman@bingaman.senate.gov

Here are some questions you can suggest to them-

Will you recommend to the President that he should order a resumption of nuclear testing?

Can America credibly compel Iran and North Korea to discontinue their pursuits of nuclear weapons when it is developing new bombs of its own?

How will testing nuclear weapons improve America’s national security?

How will a US resumption of nuclear testing affect commitments by Russia, China, and other states not to conduct any more tests of their own?

Thanks again, Michael, we'll do what we can.

Ok here's the thing. I was not born in New Mexico. I moved here almost twelve years ago by choice as an adult. (If a twenty-one year old art student can be considered an adult these days) I loved the open spaces and completely new landscape colors, the different attitudes and behaviors of the people, the fact that old buildings were frequently still being fixed up and used, and that a good number of the women here were short and wide just like me.

I love this place. I married someone who was born here. His family doesn't go back several generations but his parents were born and raised here. In the seven and a half years I've been with Cody I've learned a lot about the attitudes of New Mexicans towards outsiders, particularly people who move here from New York, California, and especially Texas. The fact that I come from a state that's equally if not more misunderstood seems to assuage any ookiness he'd have about actually being married to an outsider. But whenever I bring this up he points out one very important thing: that I moved here and appreciate New Mexico for it's New Mexico-ness (although he'd never use the term New Mexico-ness unless under threat of severe pain to him, me, or the dog). Basically I don't try to change it into the place I left.

Far be it for me to move to a new place then start telling people who have lived here their whole lives what to do. I would be entirely too afraid to be scolded for the sheer arrogance and effrontery of that kind of behavior. And believe me, there are times when I have no shame for potentially arrogant or effrontive behavior but even I know how tacky it would be to come to someone's house for a party then proceed to tell the host and hostess how they could've done things better. Even if it were a pot-luck or byob.

Lemme tell you, there's no friggin way I'd want New Mexico to become Alabama. I moved away from Alabama because I didn't like it there; I moved to New Mexico because I did like it here. And although there's been some discussion lately about our moving to Alabama I assure you we won't be attempting to turn Birmingham into Albuquerque. Because we recognize and appreciate the fact that these are two completely different places. That what works in one culture and region probably wouldn't work in a completely different one. And frankly it's insulting to both places to try.

As time has gone on I've noticed the marked decrease in my ability to tolerate people moving here then attempting to dictate local change that would make things here almost just like the place they just fucking left. If where you were was so great why did you come here? Where are you going to go when you've made this place into what you abandoned last time? What was it about New Mexico that made you want to come here in the first place? Do you think that whatever those things were that you found attractive spawned in a vaccuum? That changing one part of the place wouldn't affect those elements as well?

And the greatest irony of them all: the people who move here from other places then complain about urban sprawl, increases in taxes and traffic, and the lack of jobs. So you're allowed to move here but no one else can?

Or, and I swear this is true, complaining about all the Hispanics and Native Americans. What kind of ignorant asshole moves to a state called New Mexico and makes racial slurs?

While I'm all for voicing opinions, getting involved in local projects, and contributing to your adopted home ya might want to consider your suggestions for a while lest you come off as an elitist asshole with an agenda of turning New Mexico into the same hypocritical gluttonous oxygen bar hell you moved to escape. Show some dignity and at least put up the pretense of respecting the culture you're attempting to dilute.

If you think this is about you it probably isn't I'm just cranky about people moving here then trying to turn it into New Texyorkifornia. Things are far from perfect here and I complain about stuff too sometimes (like the completely id-driven insane drivers in Albuquerque). But for the most part I try to keep in mind that I moved here voluntarily and am quite happy to be here warts and all. (I just refuse to drive)

sorry but I couldn't resist

Or is she old enough to be considered platinum yet?

Last night I stood on our back porch and watched a really impressive lightning storm for a few minutes. It was miles away but that's one of the things about living here - you can see the lightning hit like it's just across the street but not even hear the thunder. There were streaks that went clear across the horizon and lit the sky almost as bright as noon. The rain started at about 9 pm. Then the came hail on and off - sometimes hitting the roof really hard as the wind blew. The thunder came too. Sounding almost exactly as the lightning hit. Some booms were so loud the dog barked. Melon ran for cover under the bed. The lights flickered a few times. I thought it was going to stay off for a minute there. Cody was at work he said they could hear the hail on the roof - which means it was hitting quite hard. Winter and I went to sleep at about eleven listening to the rain. Sometime in the night the hail and thunder woke us up. I think she was barking again.

This morning the porch roof had holes in it. One part is dented and is leaking heavily. I think a branch hit it but I'm not going out in the rain and hail and mud to check. The whole thing will probably have to be replaced. At one time I'd thought about making the back porch an outdoor room - putting an old dining set and my easel out here. Sometimes I have pipe dreams about walling it in and making it into a big kitchen and breakfast room. Right now I just want a roof on it.

I'm really glad we had those four trees cut down over the summer because they probably would have done some serious damage. The hail hitting the small pencil tree in the front makes the whole yard smell like crushed pine.

I wish the Bernalillo county clerk would answer the damn phone. We haven't gotten our registration confirmations and today's the last day to register to vote.

I'm almost out of Tazo awake tea. And Netflix is taking its sweet time sending my BBC drama smack aka Series 2 of Upstairs Downstairs. That show has me hooked.

I need to update my book list I haven't listed the last five I've read.

Pika posted some photos from her trip to the New Mexico State Fair including the toe ring tent.

Fun things we did today

There was much rejoicing and giggling over the Specialty Coffee Association of America's report that Albuquerque had the most coffee shops per capita. But this must've upset some major coffee bean muckety mucks. Only some serious java muscle would cause a group with such unparalleled influence and standards to retract their previous statement declaring Albuquerque the heavyweight caffeine champion of the world citing vague data errors and no plans to recalculate the results. November elections be damned here are the real issues ladies and gentlemen! We must find alternative human fuel resources!

Yeah ok I've had a weird day. I'll post all about it later.

I've been going to the morning water aerobics classes at the gym on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. After the eleven o'clock class I hang around in the sauna and hottub for a bit. Just killing time letting Cody sleep a while before he picks me up at one.

There's a middle-aged blonde woman that sometimes goes to the last class. I've been talking with her a bit - mostly about the possibility of going to drawing classes at a place downtown, or how much we dislike Rush Limbaugh and how, no, she would not enjoy listening to Michael Savage despite what that guy said.

She's your typical New Mexico transplant that people born here (including my husband) absolutely hate. She eats only organic foods and is quite loud about it, uses plastic bags but claims she forgot her reusable bag that day, has no qualms about loudly saying what people should or shouldn't do, stands around in the locker room just slightly closer than the average American comfort zone of personal space - totally naked, waxes poetic about natural product buzzwords like Burt's Bees and Aveda and random obscure health-mind-body exercise classes.

The worst part is she's a total fucking racist about Hispanics. Don't forget that cruelty-free lipgloss and free-range chicken while you're making huge assumptions about the checkout girl's origins!

It took me a little while to realize this but you know when you're afraid someone in the room is overhearing what this woman is saying to you and you're going to get beaten up - that's not good.

Last week she pulled some little spandex outfit out of the locker room garbage and took it home. Yesterday she told me that there wasn't really anything wrong with the clothes other than the fact that it smelled like "the sweat of a person whose eaten tacos all their life." That's a direct quote. I said, "What it smelled like cumin?" Trying to cover her severe faux pas with a distinctly-scented spice reference. But, no, she said it again "No it smelled like taco sweat." I can't remember the term she used - something like "Chula Chica" or something which, technically would be translated as "cool chick" but whatever she was using it in a derogatory manner.

Another time I was talking about that Are you looking at my friend's tits experience and she assumed the men were Hispanic. Actually she assumed they were Hispanic but called them Mexican which is a really good way to insult someone whose family has lived in New Mexico longer than it's been a state - or even a US territory in some cases. Most old families here are a blend of Spanish (as in Spain), Mexican-Indian (Aztec, Mayan), Native American (Navajo, etc.), and Anglo (general reference to European descent of some kind). In fact the men in that story were white if that means anything at all.

She talked about her next-door neighbors and how there are a bunch of different people staying there in some kind of rotation. How they stand around playing pool in the garage listening to ranchero music. She implies they're in a gang - or harboring illegals.

I have no idea how long this lady has lived here but she must've missed the How to behave in a place with lots of ethnic influences orientation class they offer to people moving here from out of state. I got my first lesson, How to pronounce Chimichanga properly, the second month I was here at the Allsups down the street. Ok so there isn't an orientation class but I'd pay a few extra bucks in taxes to start one up just so they'll stop making us all look bad.

I'm ashamed to admit that I haven't said anything to her....yet. But what do you say to someone that loud and self-righteous? I'm so good at calling right wingers on their shit why can't I do the same for the hypocrites on our side?

So there's a big truck digging and making dubious noises behind our house right now. Hope they don't hit that water main today!

On the way back from the gym this morning (where I had my first class with Yuki the cutest, most diverse, hyperactive water aerobics instructor ever) we turned onto the road that runs behind our house and saw a 100 foot geyser of water coming from the unused stretch of scrub land that runs between our back wall and the road. It's clearly land reserved for road widening some day. About once a year they run big machines around and look like they're going to pave it then they disappear and we have another year of the busy street to Rio Rancho being 20 feet further from our house. Which is fine by us.

So this gusher. Yeah looks like they were doing something to that unused land because somebody seems to have hit a water main. We had no choice but to drive under the spray that was being blown around and not only were we showered with water but pebbles too. It was scary. Then we turned onto our street and saw the water streaming down our road and going right into the yard, front porch, and probably the living room across the street. It was a river of that vanilla caramel latte-colored new mexico arroyo water - going down my street. Gee am I glad we bought the uphill house.

I assumed the water wouldn't be working but no it's still on. And I went to check twenty minutes later and that gusher was still going. No one had turned off the main and construction workers were just standing around. Complete waste of water. I saw a few teenaged girls from way down the street heading over there with shovels I wonder what they were going to do. The dirt here isn't exactly suited for dam-building.

Now I can hear a bunch of trucks rumbling around there I wonder what they're going to mess up now.