I’m founding a new little kal group. It’s called the Jaycrawlers. Anyone who started and hasn’t finished their pair of jays is eligible. Here are the buttons.

Not perfect but it gets the idea across. Wear it with pride.

I heard a rumor that someone from a local knitting guild for which I also pay dues was at Village making teh ugly about knitbloggers, including some local ones. I’m not sure if this is sour grapes over a failed blog attempt or general technophobia but it kind of annoyed me.

I’ll clarify a few things for people who read and don’t get my blog (or blogs in general) and don’t want to read the whole disclaimer.

1. You don’t have to read it
2. I’m not writing it for you.
3. Comments about wastes of time and energy are laughable coming from someone who also spends time and money on a hobby that a lot of other people make fun of.
4. Don’t like it? Bite me. Or pay my bills and I’ll write whatever you want me to write.

Sheesh without the yarn fascists telling me what yarn is unacceptable and the hobby dictators telling me what is and isn’t a waste of my spare time, I just don’t know what I’d do.

It took me a few days to feel like knitting again. I would pick a project up sometimes and absentmindedly do a few rows but my heart wasn’t in it. I was mostly eating spicy mashed potatoes from Popeyes and watching Tivo. We all have our ways of coping right? The good part is I did get a little housecleaning done. And lots of cuddles from the kitties and Winter. It’s funny to say this but they knew something was up with Mom and were all trying to comfort me in their own ways.

Yesterday I officially got back into the knitting groove. While I haven’t finished my second Jaywalker sock (almost to the heel) I decided to just pick up my UFOlympic Clappy and see how the rhythm went on working with it again. I hadn’t knit a stitch on that thing since September? October? A long time in my knitting world.

I had Tivoed the opening ceremonies so I was a good little UFOlympic knitalonger and started working on le clap while watching almost four hours of pyrotechnics and people in silly outfits. That’s probably disrespectful but I had a very hard time not giggling at such odd and melodramatic spectacles as people on ice skates with big flamethowers on their backs shooting fire off the tops of their heads. It was like a weird version of Starlight Express, which is plenty wierd by itself.

The people who formed images like the skiier and the dove were neat though. And, of course, Pavarotti singing Puccini., well I could’ve watched that all night. I’m enjoying all the footage of Italy as well. I never got that far north when I was there but I did see some snow in Venice. Strangely I have not caught much of the actual sports. Like a complete girl I like the figure skating and that’s about it.

But tonight and tomorrow night, I’m sorry but olympics be damned. Westminster’s on and that’s what I’m watching! I’ve enjoyed watching it since 1991 when I had a week to decide whether I wanted to stay in Birmingham and go to school or move to Australia with my parents. Even when I didn’t have a purebreed dog, nor any real interest to own one, I’ve watched it. Now that I have a ridgeback that’s had a few cousins win best of breed (one even won best of hounds!) you bet your bippy I’m watching. So me and my clap will be doing that this evening. Winter will probably watch a bit too before taking a nap. She watches the screen when I’m watching shows with dogs on them.

As far as progress on clappypants I’m doing pretty well. I’m on my third skein of six and I just finished repeat number five of twelve in the straight section. So I’m about halfway. At this rate I’ll be finishing it this week and have time to finish my Jays before the closing ceremony (which will probably be just as elaborate and fiery but I will try to refrain from giggling).

I haven’t taken any photos in a few weeks so I don’t have images of the superlong airy scarf I knit for my mil or the oddball fuzzyfeet I’m working on for Cody. Or progress on clapster. I’ll get some today before I get any work done.

I did officially sign up for Project Spectrum yesterday and just for fun made a few buttons for it, mostly because I hadn’t seen any designs with a color wheel and I thought that would be neat. Feel free to take them.

I don’t mind hotlinking from my site (I have a very generous host and lots of space I even survived being boingboinged with an audio file and didn’t even make a dent in my bandwidth) so if you don’t have a lot of space or have trouble working with graphics you offically have my permission to hotlink these buttons. Just these buttons. And just hotlinking from my site my site mmkay? I made different sizes for each too.

Broadway Marquee Style

Painterly Colorwheels


Partdridge Family Bus

Some medication trademark image-looking design with a colorwheel

Enjoy!

We ran a lot of errands yesterday. Did a little retail therapy visit at Village Wools which was nice. I probably wouldn’t have asked Cody to take me there but Jamie was working and I thought it would be good to get out for a little while. I’d brought Zola there last fall so they were really sad to hear about her. One of the women who works there, Franzi, had just picked out a pattern and some yarn to make a felted hedgehog so when she heard about Zola she took me right in the back and let me buy them instead, even though one of the yarns was the last in the store. It made me tear up. Again. Just every once in a while I get sad about it. Wasn’t that just incredibly sweet though? I also found some really pretty iro and some funky optik and picked up two #1 circulars since the fuzzyfoot is going pretty well and neither of my circular kits go that small.

Then we got some boba tea and went to Page One Too to look for some books for Cody. I found a few things: a mindcandy Barbara Michaels, the new John Irving, and Reading Lolita in Tehran. I also ran into Kay, a very nice lady from the dropped stitch knitter’s guild, whom I’d just seen at the giant knitathon at Tuesday’s Stitch n Bitch. I hadn’t seen her in months so it’s been nice to run into her twice in one week.

She was the first person I watched spin with a spinning wheel. Unfortunately it was an incredibly cool Journey wheel (wheel in the sky keeps on tur-nin’ - sorry can’t resist hearing bad Journey songs in my head now) so all wheels pale in comparison to its coolness. Except my lendrum of course. Love my lendrum. Secretly want a journey wheel. (don’t stop be-lievin’! Damn that Steve Perry’s voice.) I’m hoping that Kay, Beverly, and I can get together and spin on our wheels sometime when Beverly’s gets here. (Oh Sherri! Hold on Hold on!)

Then we went to the grocery store and bought food for the next two weeks. Then got subway sandwiches on the way home. So after having the dog run around and give us lots of kisses because she never thought she’d see us again and bringing in all the grocery bags while keeping the cats from getting into the garage I was putting the refrigerated stuff away. And the phone rang with the “long distance” ring meaning it was probably my parents or my sister. Cody was closer to the phone so he answered it.

It went sort of like this:

My Dad: Is this (Cody’s and my last name which sounds a lot like DaVinci’s but isnt)?

Cody in a friendly voice: Yeeees

Dad: I’d like a large house salad with light dressing and a large Mona Lisa pizza.

Cody thinking my dad is kidding: A large house salad and a large Mona Lisa pizza? Sure we’ll get that for you.

My Dad: Ok we’ll be by in forty-five minutes to pick it up.

Cody slightly panicking thinking they’ve come to Albuquerque as a surprise (which wouldn’t be the first time) but also confused because he knew they were supposed to be in Atlanta this weekend: Uh, forty-five minutes? Ok, we’ll have that ready for you.

Then he hands the phone to me. I’d heard the conversation and didn’t have a clue what that was all about but I saw my parents’ number on the caller id so I took the phone. And Dad had hung up. Now if this had been Cody’s Dad we would’ve thought he was kidding around and would call back in a minute. He’s kind of silly. My Dad is not silly, at least not silly like that. So I called them back.

I asked my mom if Dad had meant to order a pizza from us. Mom was confused. It seems that the phone in Dad’s office is kind of weird (it’s given me trouble when I’ve used it too) so it had redialed our house from when they’d called on Friday while Dad was dialing DaVinci’s in Birmingham. The best part is that Dad is a retired executive from, what else? The phone company. So he really thought he was ordering a pizza. And probably wondered about the employee being so cheeky. This is an interesting new way to get me to call my parents.

It was very very funny.

So, this was the second hedgehog our vet had ever seen. And they’d never heard of Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome. I had a feeling they thought we were making it up. But they were really open to taking us in the back and having us show the websites where they could get more information. They weren’t entirely comfortable saying this was definitely WHS but even a vet with WHS experience would know there’s only one way to tell for sure. By doing an autopsy. They read all the materials and in the meantime had done a few tests.

It turns out she could roll into a ball she was just not scared enough to do it with us. I hadn’t seen her form a complete ball in, gosh, a year? I’d thought she just didn’t need to all along but the last week I was starting to get worried. So it was nice to know that not only could she still do it but she was comfortable enough with us to not need ball up.

After reading up on the websites we showed them the ladyvet came in and talked about the different ways and causes, which we knew about, of course, because we’d shown them the websites. In a nutshell it’s mostly genetic, some think it’s related to diet or a trauma. It’s a degenerative disease, the symptoms can be staved with certain supplements. I told her about the food I mixed for Zola and how I’d been adding feline missing link to it for the last year or so. And she’d never had any trauma. So that was out.

We did find out that she was blind. That hadn’t even occurred to me. She’s a nocturnal animal and relies primarily on scent anyway. But to be that small with such a tiny brain and not be able to see must be terrifying. That was what made us decide that she’d had enough.

Flying Baby Zola June 2003

The vet people were very sensitive about the process. They brought her to us in our room and let us cuddle and say goodbye. She really been enjoying being rubbed from her nose to her headquills and would move her head up to guide my index finger. She was tired though. And we got to see that she wouldn’t blink when our fingers came close to her face. But “the hand” was nice and warm as always.

We always joked that while the other pets would call me Mom, Zola just thought of me as “the hand”. As in “Oh no there’s that hand again” as it would reach into the cage to get her. Or “Oh my god, hand save me!” when she was crawling around in the bathtub. She’d been relying on “the hand” a lot the last few days to eat, drink, and walk, and while there was something sweet in her tired gentleness it was sad to not have her usual grumpy hedgehog mood. Cute grumps are the essence of hedgehogs.

They took her in the back to give her gas before the injection. I’d insisted on that. Then after a few minutes they brought us back there to be with her. She was such a tiny little thing on that big operating table for dogs and cats. The gas mask covered her entire head. Her eyes were half closed and she was on her right side with her belly exposed, left limbs sticking out- as she’d been sleeping a lot these days. They gently gave her a shot in the liver. She didn’t flinch. I rubbed her tummy and tiny little paws and she went gently. She was gone in less than a minute and her little fuzzy legs completely relaxed. I was mostly numb. I’d been preparing for this the last few days. Cody had a hard time with it. I think part of that was we were in the same room where he was with Ascii when they put her down. I think it was a lot of things.

Gorgonzola Pokypants Boobiethon 2004

We’ve sent her little body to the state animal coroner (or something like that) for an official necropsy. We’ll have official paperwork about whether or not this was Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome. Then they’re sending her back to the vet who will cremate her for us. She’ll be in a little box that we can put next to Ascii’s big box in the living room.

I have moments where I miss her but I know that we did the best we could for her. I gave her a good home, excellent food, and a good wheel to run on. Two things I think I could’ve done better: cleaned her cage and clipped her nails more often. That’s all. And that’s not bad.

We stopped at Border’s on the way home. Cody wanted to get some books and I had a DVD being held at the desk. When we were checking out I wandered over to some stuff that looked like jewelry - black corded things with beads. Just looking around. I put my hand on a tangled wad of cords with beads and there was a little brass hedgehog hanging off the cord of something called a “book thong”. I quickly untangled it from the mess and told Cody to wait I had something else to buy. It’s a black cord with beads on either end and a little hedgehog charm hanging off of one. This was a little gift in memory of my Zola bean.

Zola with Santa, December 2005

(this is sort of a republish of an email I sent to a friend but it covered so much that I would end up repeating in all the emails that I thought I’d just edit it a bit and post it here)

Thanks to everyone who sent good thoughts about my Zola bean. It’s breaking my heart that she’s so young.

And it’s bringing up all kinds of residue from when we had to put our three year old Ascii dog to sleep for severe hip and knee dysplasia in 2001. That was genetic too - which was why we went to a stringent breeder that screened for hips and eyes when we got Winter. And supplement her diet with all kinds of vitamins and things that are supposed to help with general health and connective tissues.

And that experience led us to be more open for a breeder for a hedgehog. And my cat Melon was seriously ill last summer - I nursed her back to health by force feeding her liquids and giving her subcutaneous fluids and shots and pills all at home. The scariest moments were when she didn’t fight back. But the good part is after two months of a whole lot of work, Melon got better. She’s just fine now, obnoxious and needy as ever, and our bond is even stronger - which is hard to imagine, this is my baby kitty (ha she’s over ten years old now) and we were pretty attached before all that.

This and a lot of other issues are at the heart of why we don’t (and probably won’t) have kids. If losing a pet or seeing them sick like this hurts this much, the thought of seeing my own baby this ill and having to do the things that are incredibly hard but make a good mother terrifies me. Scares me to death. There’s also the thing about my not exactly being a high functioning person these days. That too.

Zola’s ability to walk has seriously diminished just in the last week. I’ve been holding her up to walk and feeding her wet cat food and droppers of water. Doing some water aerobics and rubbing her tummy (clockwise only for some reason I can’t remember) and her tiny legs. Winter is totally jealous that the hedgehog is getting this much attention. The cats are keeping a respectful distance. They’ve never really taken much notice of her. We have an appointment at the vet at 8 am. We’re hoping that this is just a bad ear infection or something. But I’m prepared for the worst, as usual.

Yes, we will definitely be getting another hedgehog if/when Zola leaves us. Not as a replacement. As one of my favorites of Cody’s Aunts says “There will always be room for more, my heart expands to accommodate them.” Or something like that. The breeder that sold Zola to us has since moved to New York state but there is another one here in Albuquerque.

My stomach’s been hurting so much this week and the only thing I can think is responsible is the egg salad I had at Flying Star Tueday night. I don’t respond to eggs very well I really need to remember that. I’m sure there are some stress issues too. I haven’t gotten a lot of knitting done because my fingers usually seem to be covered in one hedgehog-related gross substance or another.

Ok I’m going to go get ready.

I’m so lazy these days I’ve given up any pretense of posting a narrative blog entry. Just lists. And if I get any more morose and whiny on here I’m going to become an official emo blog. But if I’m destined to have a small animal-themed emo blog with occasional knitting posts, then a small animal-themed emo blog with occasional knitting posts I write.

Anyway, this is old-schooll link style bloggin, babies.

1. I’m incredibly proud of my friend, Scout. Where she gets the energy to raise two children, keep a spotless house, work at a yarn store, knit (and finish) projects on a consistent basis, and get quoted in a major US newspaper is beyond me. I envy her energy.

2. I have no idea what I’ve done to make a sweet guy like Cody love me so much. That he can be woken up with his wife in a pitiful state of simultaneous tears, nausea, and hunger because she’s too sick and weak to figure out what to eat, make blueberry toast for her, introduce her to the eighth wonder of the world: apple slices with peanut butter, all without being cranky or upset, then go back to bed makes him a guy who should win a nobel prize for husbands.

3. I’m fairly sure that Zola has Wobbly Hedgehog Sydrome, a misleadingly cute name for a horrible disease. It’s supposed to be similar to human MS. Basically her legs are getting stiff and can’t hold her body up so she keeps falling over, especially when she tries to walk. Eventually she won’t be able to move by herself. And while there are things that I can do to slow the degeneration there is no cure. I’ve been noticing slight changes since last fall but thought she was just being lazy and enjoying her new heating system a lot. At just under three years old she isn’t that old for a hedgehog. And she’s been much more vocal lately. For a while I thought she was just getting more talkative, now I think they’re little honks of frustration because she can’t get to where she wants to go.

This isn’t definite yet. We’re going to the vet this weekend. But it’s looking pretty likely (warning! heartbreaking video of sick hedgehogs in this link!). Another genetics-related disease, despite going to a serious breeder. If there is a god I’m giving it a big middle finger right now. (Kind of explains the above crying hungry nauseous situation doesn’t it?)

I’ve been holding her up to help her get some walking on the table and giving her little massages. The spookiest part (as it was when Melon was sick) is this is the least cranky and most compliant she’s ever been. You know they’re sick when they’re not being feisty. And I don’t think she can form a complete ball anymore.

And, yes, we will be putting her down when she’s no longer able to move by herself. I believe very strongly in controlling the pain and keeping a good quality of life for my pets. The ability to say that there has been enough pain and to stop it now is one of the few things we can control. So we will. We’ll probably send her body to the Veterinary School in Ft Collins where they can perform an autopsy to confirm that it was WHS. If it’s positive I’ll contact the breeder so she’ll stop breeding that line.

4. I’ve been a greedy little yarn hoarder lately. Not only did I buy the gorgeous Maisy Day pink and green shawl set from Hello Yarn (even though I haven’t finished the pumpkin patch one yet), I managed to snag two skeins of Vesper sock yarn (one midnight knitter and one neapolitan). I higly recommend subscribing to her etsy shop’s rss feed that’s how I managed to grab em before she was bought out. I’ve also been given the most amazing yarn lately - Lorna’s Laces sock yarn, a great pink silk blend from Artful yarns in San Fran, really cool fiber to spin. But I think I mentioned that in a previous post. I should take some yarn porn photos. Especially of the bombyx silk bell. That thing is COOL!

5. I saw a post about fabric by a Japanese designer that used to be in my room when I was a little girl. It was the spookiest thing because I’d totally forgotten about this colorful automobile themed fabric. My mom stretched it over wooden frames like painting canvases and had them hanging in my room. Total freakish flashback when I saw it.

6. This is possibly the most depressing article about body image, women’s value, the male gaze, and mental health I’ve ever read. A beautiful girl has a horrible psychosis - hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, inability to function..the whole deal. The only medication that works for her makes her gain weight. Everyone else is upset by the “loss” of her beauty despite her complete lack in interest in her physical change (presumably because she’s happy to not be seeing or hearing things?).

The doctors seem to think the fact that she doesn’t have stringent standards of beauty is an indication that she’s still “broken”. Fuckers. Between the romaniticizing of a beautiful crazy woman, the lack of value in mental health vs. the overvalued beauty standards, the creepiness of her doctor allowing his obvious physical attraction to his patient affect the medication and choice of treatment, not to mention the stilted way in which the article was written makes me, more than ever, Blame the Patriarchy.

7. This, on the other hand, is one of the more inspiring posts I’ve read in a while. And I read a lot of inspiring posts. Not only do I love the idea of Vanessa Bell, Dorothy Parker, and Henri Matisse being together in the same room, but the idea of sitting around knitting with them..what a delicious idea!

8. On a similar note I’ve decided, after hemming and hawing about the “commitment” of joining another knitalong, to join Project Spectrum. The concept of knitting with specific colors every month to celebrate the beauty and power of color strikes way too close to home for me to not get involved. So for the Month of March I will be knitting with the Red and Pink Posie color of Silk Road Tweed to make a besotted cable scarf.

9. I’m looking forward to Friday more than I’ve looked forward to watching the olympics in a long time.

10. Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of the night I learned to knit. I know. Weird isn’t it?

Believe me, I had no idea I would enjoy this particular hobby to this extent. I hadn’t been creative with my hands pretty much since finishing my sculpture degree in 1997. Before that I’d been a tactile creator in one form or another since I was a young girl playing on my electric pottery wheel and painting on my little easel. But that myth about it being hard to be creative when you’re happy is kind of true.

It’s not a coincidence that I also met and moved in with the love of my life that year. Which is funny because I’d broken a lot of barriers that academic year. A set of my paintings had won an award at the annual student show, I’d joined a life drawing group of professional artists, which was also instrumental in changing how I felt about my own body because I discovered that the plumper, curvier models were a LOT more fun to draw. But I’d also had a major depressive episode, been diagnosed with and put on meds to treat depression for the first time, gone through major changes with some important friendships, and been alone with my mother when she had her first seizure, worked for a magazine that quickly went under, and taught myself html in a weekend. It was a weird-ass year.

So after a long incubation period, I started creating with my hands again. And it, as cheesy as it sounds, has changed my life. Oh, believe me, I’m sure I did my share of eye-rolling about the fiber arts when I was playing the macho power tool welding sculptor game. But I’d taken some great classes on women in the arts and already worked with Judy Chicago. I knew the potential of expression, great ideas, of history behind it. But I think it was when I saw Mac post about the knitty womb that really caught my attention. This was feminism and history and creativity coming together in a crazy fun way. Then I saw the Joey Ramone and Joan Jett dolls and Cody overheard me sqeal about the coolness of it all.

I started to fantasize about making my own DeeDee (the smarter, more pensive Ramone) doll. So for giftmas before last Cody bought Stitch and Bitch and Stitch and Bitch Nation for me. Then helped me buy what I needed to get started. Then took me down to see his crafty aunt when we were fixing her computer. She showed me how to do a long tail cast-on and a basic knit stitch. And the rest, as they say, is history. I was hooked.

And thank the gods for it because I finally found something to create with my hands again. I’ve actually found a way to be creative and feel somewhat financially successful too. The fact that it has hugely calming side effects has been a wonder too. And I’ve met some great and interesting friends. Which was incredibly important to me when Jocelyn, my best friend and major link to the rest of the world, moved to San Fran. I’ve been getting out at least once a week. And getting back into the groove of being a proper socialized person again. Not just some cranky feral woman who sleeps by day and is afraid of most people. Well, I’m being a little dramatic but sometimes it felt that way.

So thank you Cody. Thank you Mac. Thank you Knitty and Debbie and my Crafty Aunt-in-law. Thank you to my Albuquerque knitting friends for being so tolerant of my seeming constant need for positive reinforcement about my projects. Thanks you guys.

Ok, I’m off to take care of my little honking hedgehog I think she wants some food.

Your 2005 Song Is

Beverly Hills by Weezer “My automobile is a piece of crap My fashion sense is a little whack And my friends are just as screwy as me” You breezed through 2005 in your own funky style!

That song’s ok but “Say it Ain’t So” will always been my favorite of theirs.

totally stolen from Cheeky Prof and seen somewhere else but I can’t remember where right now.

Even though I posted about this last year I thought I’d write about it again.

article totally snagged from this site

So bad. Soooo bad.

I’ve been pretty busy this week. Went to the Stitch n Bitch (I totally dare SFSE to send C & D letters to knitbloggers) on Tuesday and had fun. Jamie bought me dinner and dessert for this web thing I’m working on with her. And I got all kinds of cool gifties from her too! I also got a bunch of fun gifties from Jocelyn who visited Artfibers to get my giftmas present. I am so super friggin spoiled. Oh, did I mention what I bought for my quitting smoking anniversary? I got a pound of thrums fiber (which is on super-great sale right now) from Spinderella and a city shawl knitting kit. The thrums are already here can you believe it?

Ok so pics..

These are the finished tweedy fuzzy feet before felting.

I felted them tonight because the in-laws were coming by. The photo is terrible because it was still wet and indoors with a flash but I wanted to show how the tweed looked after felting before they left. They did not even think this was odd. So this is the heel.

So they look pretty good. My fil loves his fuzzyfeet. LOVES them. And Cody told me tonight he wanted me to make a pair for him. this is the first time he’s asked for me to knit something for him. He’s just not a sweater or scarf kind of guy. But fuzzyfeet I can do. And since fuzzyfeet have become sort of my canary project before trying a new sock technique I’m going to do his on 2 circulars. Won’t that be exciting? I have no idea what yarn I’m going to use. I might even use the yarn that’s leftover from my other fuzzyfeet projects. Wouldn’t that be cute and interesting?

And here’s my finished Jay

I love this sock. I’m getting very little work done because I keep just looking at the stitch pattern in awe.

You know how new parents are when they just can’t stop taking photos of their baby? I’m pretty much like that with everything I knit

And spin

And my puppy

I have good news, I’ve finally found a religion I can get behind.

There’s a music meme going around but since I did that one not too long ago I thought I’d just show the last few songs I’ve listened to

Wickerman - Pulp
Freedom of Choice - Devo
Time is on my side - Irma Thomas
Rollerskate - Call and Response
Calling Dr. Love - Kiss (heeeeeeee)
Mary Susan - Blood on the Wall
Deceptacon - Le Tigre
You never even called me by my name - David Allan Coe
Don’t make me over - Dionne Warwick
This city never sleeps - Eurythmics
(I can’t get no) Satisfaction - Cat Power (her new album kicks ass too)

And finally I need to get something off my chest. I’ve become addicted to Dancing with the Stars. I tivo and enjoy both the Thursday and Friday night episodes. And it’s all Beverly’s fault. It’s also her fault that I’m trying to get Cody to take me to see Pam Houston read at Bookworks tonight.