I’ve been trying to keep my posts about knitting and sick pets to a minimum lately but the Melon cat has been doing it again: refusing to eat no matter what I put in front of her.

We’ve been through all kinds of cat food brands and flavors, wet and dry, and plain old tuna, I even gave her some grilled steak I was eating when she seemed interested in it. It’s a bad sign when she throws up within a minute of smelling food though. That means she’s nauseated again. It’s an even worse sign when all that comes out is yellowish stomach acid.

So we went back to the vet this morning to get more liver tests and get a refill on her anti-nausea meds. When they weighed her last month she was seven pounds. She’s five and a half now. Seems she’s dehydrated again as well, despite my trying to give water with an eyedropper. So they did another subcutaneous iv with fluids, added a vitamin shot and some antibiotics, gave me a quick lesson in how to give her a subcutaneous iv at home and sent me on my way with my own iv bag of fluids, needles, liquid and pills for the anti-nausea meds, more science diet prescription a/d food, and some new oral syringes.

And a creepy metaphor about how Melon’s been circling before she goes down the drain. Oh, thanks!

We had a different doctor today, one of those kinds that’s really good at making you feel like a crappy pet parent no matter how much time and money you’ve put into keeping them well. And he looks just slightly too much like Dr. Phil for my personal comfort. (Have I ever mentioned just how much I hate Dr. Phil?) Insinuating things like assuming that the other pets might be eating her food and I’m not noticing. Uh, no.

Melon has her own wet food that I feed her at specific times on the counter and I stand there and watch her eat until she finishes then I cover it and put it back in the fridge. If she’s not interested after a few tries I leave it in the guest room for the other cats and try something else. These days the cats have unfetered access to two completely different brands (Science Diet Senior and F & S Hairball Control F & S Adult Light mixed together) of dry cat food at all times. Phunq and Kurry share two kinds of wet food at least once a day. Usually it’s a fish-flavored Fancy Feast grilled which is the only thing Kurry will eat these days and a Foster and Smith can of wet food that Phunq will eat.

The dog has been on a diet so she gets 1/2 cup of dry dog food (F & S Lamb and Brown Rice F & S Canine Adult Light mixed together), 1/2 can of unsalted green beans for filler, and a tablespoon of mixed dry supplements which include Barley Dog, joint supplement dry mix, and Missing Link Vetrinary formula. She gets that three times a day. She also gets one greenie a day.

The hedgehog gets a mix of F & S Adult Cat Light dry food, Spike’s Delight premium, Zoo insectivore, and Old Mill sprinkled with Bugs n Berries, Missing Link Cat formula and Peanut Bugger. I usually toss a few roasted mealworms and a calcium gut-packed cricket on top as well. Sometimes I give her a teaspoon of baby food or cat food as a special treat.

Kiss my ass that I don’t take good care of my pets bucko.