We are sick, sick people.

Word got out that I haven’t read any Harry Potter books so I was promptly given a set for Christmas by Cody’s parents. Which is kind of ironic since they live in a town where there had been publicized Potter-story-magic-is-of-the-devil protesting. But they’re not that fundamentalist. (coughyetcough)

I was happy to get them I’d been meaning to read them because I like the movies just hadn’t gotten around to buying the books. They’re excellent sick reading. Goes quickly, doesn’t take a lot of thought to follow the plot, easy to drop on your chest for a nap and pull out from under the blankets to read later.

I’m completely surprised to admit it but they’re worthy of all that hype. My surprise would be because I’m a big snob that has almost no confidence in the ability for the general public who dictates pop culture success to show good taste. Sorry. But you all watch way too many reality tv shows for me to not think that.

Don’t get your reality tv-lovin knickers in a big, defensive knot just yet though because sometimes I show even worse taste.

Last night while making Frito pies with Cody (recipe below) I was telling him about how nonplussed I’d been by actually enjoying the books which made me enjoy the movies even more. Then we started talking about all the popularity, promotional tie-ins, candy sales, etc. A few minutes later we were making up rip-off names for bad porn movie titles. Like Lord of the G-String, Beverly Hills 9021-Ho, Dude, where’s my Dildo? You know, the classics.

These were our favorites:

Harry Potter has big Sorcerer’s Stones
Harry Potter and Marilyn Chambers’ Secrets
Hairy Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Asskaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Desire
Horny Harry follows the Orders of his Penis
Harry Potter and the Uncut Prince

Yes. Hello! We’re twelve years old. But I couldn’t resist posting it anyway. And if I’m going to get such creepy search engine referrals I might as well run with it.

Cody’s really concerned that he’s going to come off as a big perv in this post so I’d like to note I’m fairly sure I started it. Wouldn’t say I’m a big perv but I would admit that I usually have few illusions about the lower orders in the minds of men.

If you’re wondering what a Frito pie is…

Basically a cup or so of Fritos corn chips smothered with (Texas) chili (as opposed to New Mexican chile sauces), topped with shredded cheese or cheese dip, then sometimes with shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes and/or onions, salsa, sour cream, or whatever else you can come up with. Some eat them in bowls, others on plates, there’s a very vocal contingent who refuse to eat them out of anything other than a sliced-open bag of Fritos.

Not the healthiest food in the world but sometimes ya just gotta eat stuff that’s bad for you and damn the consequences.

We usually make it with leftovers of my homemade chili (which I’ve been making with ground turkey lately) and plain old embarrassing rotel cheese dip, an addiction to which I’ve been battling for the last twenty years.

New Mexicans take their Frito pies very seriously and many claim it was invented at the Woolworth’s in Santa Fe. The legend has held strongly enough where there’s even allegedly a rider in the lease contract requiring that anyone who rents the former Woolworth storefront on the Santa Fe Plaza must sell a specific recipe of Frito pies no matter what else the store is selling. Not sure if this rumor is still around or not. Yes, Santa Fe is weird. And full of hippy-crites, resentful locals, glad-handing ranch-owning state politicians, and really annoying tourists. But you’ve gotta love a town that has priorities like that in proper order.