We went to get photos with Santa today. But I’ll post those tomorrow. Today I’ll show some I took on the way home.

I’m sure everyone has them: the movies you’ll stop channel surfing to watch again. And again. But you have that remote at the ready in case someone walks in the room. Or, for the truly bad movie, in case someone calls and could hear it in the background. In some cases you even own them but are so ashamed you keep the dvd or video in drawers and hidey-holes so you won’t have to answer the inevitable “Oh my GOD you own THAT??”

So I thought I’d get some of mine out in the open. And attempt to defend why I like them. If I can.

Plunkett & Macleane
Bad historic drama with modern techno music (and the TigerLillies!) and two secret boyfriends? oh hell yeah.

The Cutting Edge
A spoiled rich girl, a hockey player, and heavily intercut ice skating footage to bad music!

I Was a Male War Bride
Cary Grant in drag! Ok WAC drag. With a horsetail made into a wig. And he’s supposed to be French. Average Hawksean sex farce that’s not quite as good as his other collaborations with Grant but hey, that’s why it’s on this list!

Saturday the 14th
Circa 1981 horror movie spoof with Richard Benjamin who was probably still enjoying his fame from the ultimate horror spoof, (and another guilty pleasure of mine) Love at First Bite. Also has his real-life wife, Paula Prentiss, and Jeffrey Tamboor. Yes, that Jeffery Tamboor.

Clue
Before there were movies based on disney rides there were movies based on board games and they ruled the earth. Even the ones with Tawny Kitaen.

The Beautician and the Beast
I like Fran Dresher. There. I said it. I even Tivoed that Nanny reunion special that was on Lifetime last Monday. In fact, I don’t find her voice or accent annoying in the least in this movie. Now Timothy Dalton’s attempt at a growly Eastern European accent on the other hand…blergh.

Cruel Intentions
Me and probably every adolescent girl and gay man on the planet.

Foxes
Jodi Foster in a seventies teen angst flick with Donna Summer singing “On the Radio”. Cherie Currie (of Runaways fame with Joan Jett and Lita Ford) does every kind of drug on the planet while sporting a serious flip hairdo. And Scott Baio does a killer nighttime skateboard race with a car in the Hollywood Hills! Did I mention Foster’s mom is played by Sally Kellerman? Hee!

Barefoot in the Park
Yeah yeah Jane Fonda and Robert Redford. Whatever. It’s all about Charles Boyer as Victor Velasco, the epicurean bluebeard of 10th street who happens to live on the roof.

Shag: the movie
So bad. God I’m embarassed to even admit it here. But Annabeth Gish is just so cute in that little dancing scene.

Urban Cowboy
It’s not what you think. By the time this came out I was way way over my miniscule thing for him in Grease (I had really preferred Kiniki anyway). It’s really just the unashamed redneckness of this movie. I mean, they got married in a bar. She wore cowboy boots with no stockings but a garter belt under her dress. He gave her a trailer and she was happy. They went to a prison rodeo for their honeymoon. You’ve got to appreciate the complete hokey redneck love theme even if it is admittedly scary as all hell.

Police Academy movies
I don’t think I’ve seen all of them. But yeah. I like them. Even the ones with Bobcat Goldthwait. Sorry.

The Bad News Bears
When I was young I totally thought I was Tatum O’Neal in that movie.

April Fool’s Day
Typical teenage slasher flick. With Deborah Foreman from Valley Girl! (Are you seeing a theme of movies with poor little rich girls? I’ve never noticed this before.)

Problem Child
I’m sorry. I have no idea what it is about this movie that I like. It’s so bad.

Career Opportunities
Fabulous soundtrack to this movie. And while there are no gratuitous shots of Jennifer Connelly’s thighs there is one of her in a tank top on a coin-op bouncy horse. But I’m willing to overlook that for the adorably geeky hero.

Bell Book and Candle
Jack Lemmon playing a Bongo-playing beatnik witch in 1950s New York!

Against All Odds
Suprisingly good eighties noir suspense. No, really! Ignore the Phil Collins video love triangle video marketing bullshit. I’ve really come to appreciate James Woods in this.

French Postcards
I think this little-known romantic comedy set amongst American exchange students in Paris was a harbinger of the huge success of the genre in the 80s. In fact, the author of the postcards, Blanche Baker (Baby Doll Caroll Baker’s daughter!), also plays the bride-to-be in Sixteen Candles. I think it was shot on video or very cheap film because the film quality hasn’t held up well at all. Which is a shame because it is a pretty good little film. Mandy Patinkin and Debra Winger steal the show even in their small roles.

The Pirate Movie
So bad. On a number of levels. But damn is it fun!

Foul Play and Seems Like Old Times
Even though one is a disco murder mystery in San Fran and the other is adapted from a Neil Simon play but because they both star Goldie Hawn and Chevy Chase they are forever married in my brain. And Robert Guillame rocks in the Old Times - but when does he not?

I feel so much better now. Oh no, it isn’t all of them. But it’s a start.

Feel free to share yours. They can’t possibly be worse!

To sign up to win a present off your wishlist from hedgesanta!

Don’t feel shy honey it’s not a sign of desperation or present-whoring. Just think of it as giving a crazy pet lady something fun and new to do. In fact, I’ve been having a great time looking at each wish list and picking out what I’d buy if I drew that name - good stuff of course! So this is actually quite fun for me!

Oh, and since I’ve been asked a few times about this: feel free to start your own holiday present drawing on your website I won’t mind it’s all for fun and present-giving.

Now go post your wishlist link in my comments! Or if you’re not sure what the correct link is just have amazon email it to me at noelle@egeltje.org and I’ll post it for ya.

Still clinging to the stubborn belief that we are not descended from animals? Go read this .

Or, since news sites can be kind of crappy with their archive links and I want to be able to read this again, you can read it here.

Been a while since I’ve done a quiz so I’m going to post two I ran across in a saved text file. Yeah I horde my quiz results so as not to dump them on readers all at once. Wouldn’t want to scare you.

Which Eddie Izzard line are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh the irony of my posting this after yesterday’s criticism of horoscopes! Yeah I suppose the same things I said then about belief in horoscopes goes double for people thinking multiple choice quizzes can encapsulate their personalities.

But fuck it! It’s all in fun anyway!

You are 67% Cancer

I’m sure you read about the Wizbang Web Award brouhaha so I won’t go into it too much. Basically it’s an ultraconservative weblog that’s hosting awards for weblogs decided by web-based voting. And people are out there striving to be the biggest assholes they can be in that special way that only awards and talk shows bring out.

Anyway, I just read of an alternative award thingie going on this month called Best of Blog (BoB) Awards 2004. The main aim of this one seems to be rewarding the smaller, personal, non-political weblogs.

Spotlighting the little guys. Who are usually my favorites anyway.

Frankly I love pink, knitting, mommy, fertility, adoption, redecorating, scrapbooking, look at my kitty cat weblogs. That kind of diversity in interests is what makes people (and their weblogs) different and fun to know.

The only weblogs (ok, and people) I can’t stand are those written by clearly ignorant people spouting the standard right wing rhetoric without any new or original thought of their own and those with really bad, and I mean really bad grammar and spelling. I’m not talking about creative conversational spelling and literary style or little typos. I’m talking about people who clearly weren’t paying attention in English class and use and instead of an or their instead of there. I’m no bastion of flawless use of the English language myself but damn I’m not that bad. I’m much more forgiving of weblogs where English clearly isn’t their first language, of course.

The biggest bone of contention will undoubtedly be the “no political blogs” rule. I have no idea how strict they’re being with this at all. But if they mean no blogs that talk politics at all ever there will be some really good weblogs left out. ** And no I don’t mean mine LOL At this point I’m assuming I’m not qualified because I do post heavy leaning political rants sometimes. And I’m such a pottymouth I really wouldn’t expect to qualify for voting nor appeal to voters. So I want you to know this is not a plea for a nomination m’kay?

**just got a comment from zeroboss one of the folks behind the BoB awards: It basically means no blog that is DEVOTED to politics, where politics is 50% or more of the content. I’ll change the rules to reflect this. So Goodie! Thanks, Mr Boss!

I’m posting this because one of the complaints I heard a lot of people had about the Wizbang award was they didn’t know when the nominations were happening therefore they didn’t have time to nominate the ones they liked. So I thought I’d spread the word on this one.

They’re accepting nominations from tomorrow, December 10th, until Christmas Eve, December 24th.

These are the categories:
Best New Blog: one created between Jan 1st - Nov 30th, 2004
Most Humorous Blog
Biggest Blog Whore: for the blogger who most aggressively markets his or her work across the blogosphere; the blogger who would (literally) do anything for a link. (LMAO)
Best Mommy Blog
Best Daddy Blog
Best Adoption/Fertility Blog
Best Book/Literary Blog
Best Sex Blog: the best blog that routinely talks about sex
Most Inspirational Blog: and they don’t mean just religion. here’s what the description says: the blog that most inspired you to keep on truckin’ during 2004
Best LGBT Blog
Snarkiest Blog
Best Weight Loss/Fitness Blog
Best Knitting/Craft Blog
Best Cooking/Recipes Blog
Best Sports Blog
Best Music Blog
Best Poetry/Photo/Art Blog

Too bad they don’t have a pottymouth category for the most creative use of expletives eh? That would be fun!

They have some really nice prize packages with hosting, design packages by the Ciao! My Bella gals, gift certificates, books, blog explosion points. And each category has a First and Second prize. Very fancy!

So go nominate some sites for these awards! I have some already in mind for most categories myself.

And best of luck to everyone

Is a strange movie to listen to while waking up.

The plot wasn’t quite what I was expecting - mostly centering around a moderately-sized house with a fairly good view and the people that fight over it: a very sad woman who is quick to jump to self-destructive behavior, a creepy deputy (with the world’s second most annoying voice) who seems to have lost his tenuous grasp on what’s right and wrong, a former Iranian Colonel who’s desperate to regain the respect of his wife, adolescent son, and social ladder-climbing daughter.

To me the extensive panoramic shots of the sea, fog, and Jennifer Connolly’s bare thighs weren’t quite as stunning as the cinematographer wanted me to think. After a while slightly gratuitous shots start to seem downright insulting. Especially when it’s cold enough outside to turn on the heater and the girl’s wearing friggin daisy duke cutoffs. I guess it’s supposed to characterize her decline but her hair just wasn’t nearly oily enough to evoke the true attire of the downwardly mobile.

And while that deputy was ok-looking I think he’s had some fairly serious botox treatments. Next to no expression through the whole movie. But maybe he was supposed to evoke Michael Myers. And that voice. Jesus Christ what an annoying voice.

I used to think my personal hell would be a Tiki bar on an island where all people did was talk about hurricanes and listen to Jimmy Buffet songs over and over but now I think it might be sitting in a movie theater watching a movie animated in the style of The Triplets of Belleville voiced only by that deputy guy and Joey Lauren Adams with a score sung by Natalie Merchant. Gah! The voices!! Stop the voices! For god’s sake someone clear their throat!!

It wasn’t as interesting a movie as I thought it would be. Although characters who seemed to have no redeeming value in the beginning did gain some as time went on which was..different..because no one was presented in any kind of sympathetic or judgmental light really.

In the end it all goes very badly though. Just because that girl didn’t open her official-looking mail.

So. Moral of the story? Open your mail!

Old and new that still makes me laugh. Cos I’m lazy and I’ve been playing Zoo Tycoon 2 instead of coming up with actual content.

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Open Letters to People or Entities who are unlikely to respond

Say Hellooooh to Ibrator. Now I’d put an isock on that

Fametracker :: 2 Stars 1 Slot

Landover Baptist Church

Gothic Martha Stewart

Clinton’s Final Days Farewell Video for the 2000 White House Correspondent’s Dinner - remember when we had a president that was funny on purpose?

it’s princess

the onion, of course

the specious report

What web oddity still makes you laugh?

He woke me up at six to see if I wanted to go to Best Buy with him but I said I didn’t. I also told him about the bad dream I was having where I’d crashlanded a plane with a friend in the wilds of Irondale, walked to the Sam’s club, and no one would come get me except this one mean woman who was going to make me drive her jeep but it was a stick shift and they scare me.

He assured me that he and Winter would come get me then turned on the tv and put it on Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory so I could go back to sleep. I have to have the tv on to sleep well it keeps my brain from telling me very bad things that keep me awake.

I drifted for a while until my cellphone rang - a quaint little midi version of Erasure’s Give a Little Respect.

Later he just came home with:
- a new monitor because mine was clearly dying. We’d switched monitors last week because I’m on my computer more than he’s on his. But he let me have the nifty new one.
- The new Harry Potter dvd.
- Chick-fil-a which he undoubtedly had to sit in line for thirty minutes to get because it’s new and the only one in the state.

So, yeah, he resembles a chubby Bob Dylan/grownup Harry Potter crossbreed rather than some sculpted beauty of a man. I’ve never liked my men prettier than me anyway.

At the end of the day I’d rather be sitting around drinking tea and listening to endless talk about the new Halflife 2 than being handbathed in a giant tub by some naked poptart eyecandy who’s too dumb to get my jokes.

Sure I may complain about his scary family. And he’s not rich or all that ambitious. But he loves me and would do anything for me.

Including living with three very spoiled cats, a giant spoiled dog, and a grumpy spoiled little hedgehog. Or even driving said dog and hedgehog to get their photos with Santa this weekend. Because as smart and sweet he thinks his wife is she’s also kind of paranoid and crazy and has been afraid to drive a car for almost a year.

I haven’t read the Harry Potter books although I’ve meant to. But I really like how depression is personified in this movie. A depressive episode is a lot like having this big dark scary intriguing powerful thing suck away all warmth of memories while only leaving cold lonely shells ..with a need for chocolate (or, in my case, french fries) behind. I don’t know a lot about Ms Rowling but I’d be willing to bet she’s wrestled with that black dog herself a few times.