Don’t you hate this new trend in spam where the word pain is in the subject line? Seems like a really cruel way to get someone to read an ad for ‘peejnis’ enhancers. If it weren’t for dreamhost’s junk mail filter I would see about fifty of those a day per account in my inbox. I only had about 100 legitimate emails to deal with which isn’t too bad at all considering I’d been gone for over a week. I’m still going through and answering stuff so please be patient while I get my bearings again.

So we’re back in New Mexico. There’s been much sleeping and going to get the hedgehog and checking the dog out of her hotel and Benny’s bean burrito eating going on. The bill for the puppy hotel wasn’t as much as we thought it would be and they did a great job with the bath, brush, and nail trimming. They were very nice and it was interesting to see that she’d been placed in the calm play group which included some tiny dogs. She’s always been gentle with the little ones. But I think I prefer her usual place. Mostly because I get a little report card from her sitter every single day that she’s in group day care. Now that’s a job I’m seriously considering applying to get. Playing with dogs who have owners that clearly care for their dogs so I won’t want to take them all home. This is why I’m not allowed to volunteer for shelters.

Speaking of doing good works. I’ve been watching and reading about the tsunami and can’t help feeling there’s not much I can do to help. But there are many many groups out there who have the ability to help and could use the funding. The numbers of lost souls are getting into a hundred thousand and that’s far beyond anything I can imagine. One comparison I read was one and a half football stadium audiences. There are a lot of other sites that are writing much more eloquent, interesting posts about this though so I thought I’d do a link roundup so you could just visit them.

The Blogger’s Tsunami Challenge has a goal of 5k in donations but only has about 900 dollars so far
The South-East Asia Earthquake and Tsunami Help Blog
The Tsunami Help Needed Blog
Global Recon
South Asian Journalists Association

Whitters has a good post about Project HOPE
Mike Vaughn has very interesting things to say about someone with the UN allegedly calling the US stingy and what the NOAA could’ve done differently to warn residents around the Indian Ocean
Benjamin Rosenbaum has a great comparison chart for the charities listed on Google’s Tsunami Relief page.
There’s also CNN’s list of charities and Charity Navigator who I got linked to by
Daisy, who is posting some really interesting stuff about this and did a mini blog marathon to raise funds and awareness
NewMexiken points out that the aid promised to the Asian relief effort by our government approximates the funding for the inaugural ceremonies next month. (And that today is Patti Smith’s 58th birthday. Rock on.)
World helps - but will it forget?
Wikipedia Entry on the Earthquake and Tsunami and a list of charities

All those places have much more helpful information and interesting things to say than I do. If you have links to good articles, posts, or help sites please post them in comments and I’ll add them.

added @ 11:34 pm:
great collection of links on boingboing
and a del.icio.us tag

added 12/31 @ 11:34
American Friends Service Committee
pledge your ad revenue from January to BlogAid

After very long lines and countless flight delays (dern that snowy midwest Cody made it to Birmingham at 11 pm Christmas Eve - seven hours late but he got here. I hope everyone else got to their various destinations safely despite the interesting weather and godawful transportation issues and got to celebrate Yule / Xmas / Solstice / Midwinter / etc with their loved ones too.

They let Cody and I sleep late since he insisted on wrapping presents when he got here. Then we had a fun morning and early afternoon with tea, coffee, and lots of presents. I got a bunch of fun clothes - yes a good number of them match my pink ipod - as well as books, shoes, movies, all kinds of fun stuff. Everyone else seemed very happy with their gifts too. We managed to get everyone something they had wanted and a bunch of things they would want if they knew about it as well.

Then we heated up the precooked by the country club ladies’ meal and had a nice dinner in the afternoon. We all bummed around playing with our various new toys then when the sun went down we got out the champagne and Christmas crackers! This is an English custom we picked up during our Xmases in Australia where you pop open these little wrapped presents with a small built-in firecracker popper and out come little paper hats, small toys, and a little joke. We’re totally into the English way to celebrate the holidays: drink copiously and wear silly hats. I think every holiday should be celebrated this way.

Susan and Bluejay (remember the Swiss Miss post?) stopped by and we had two extra crackers for them so they joined us and we had a marvelous time complaining about Bush and Company together. Tis the season right? :p

Cody and I are here until tomorrow then we’re flying back home. Having a lot of fun - and eating a LOT of good food but I do miss my little critter babies and will be glad to be home.

I added some of my favorite photos from xmas day to the photo journal so you might have a better idea of the silly hat thing.

Screw this not buying everything for christmas online bullshit. Mah feet hurt!

Cody’s flying into Birmingham tomorrow yaaaay! The puppy is happily ensconced at the new puppy hotel, the in-laws are enjoying their time with the grandhedgehog (hehe they actually do enjoy her she’s hard to resist), the kitties have lots of food and water and central heat (and a whole house without a large dog to bug them). No funny ideas robber people we have an alarm :p

Dad and I picked up the very large precooked holiday meal from the country club today. Mom has been on a cooking strike since about 1991 and it was a sort of fundraiser anyway. Sister and her husband are safely here. We have one present left to buy but manymany to wrap. The gigantically tall tree is decorated. Turner Classic movies is showing fun old holiday movies.

And yesterday I was officially over the cold I managed to show up with on Saturday making me spend most of my week in a lovely green-tinged nyquil haze. With my red nose it was downright festive. Tracers man. Tracers.

I made it to Birmingham with no problems at all. The security checkpoint people were pleasant and the lines moved quickly, the planes were on time, and my ipod was fully charged and loaded with my favorite This American Life episodes. The layover in Atlanta wasn’t too short or too long and the gates were almost next to each other. I’d say it was a pretty easy trip.

While waiting for my dad to grab my checked bag off the conveyor belt mom and I went to sit on a bench to wait. There was just enough room between a tall pale guy and a woman - who both moved for us so we’d fit. Then a minute later the guy says: “Noelle?” Oh shit. I was back in Birmingham fifteen minutes and already running into people I knew.

He had to repeat his name three times before I recognized him. Mostly because the last time I’d seen him he’d had a huge mop of dark hair and was busy being a circa 88 skater boy. Not with a shaved mostly-balding-anyway head and in a really expensive suit and coat. I hadn’t known him very well. He’d been trying to date my friend who was busy making and breaking up with an older skater type guy who played in a local punk band. Or something like that.

So we sat in baggage claim and chatted for about five minutes attempting to catch up after, god has it been almost fifteen years? Weird to catch up with someone you didn’t know well and didn’t necessarily like in the first place. I didn’t pack my bags and go racing back to Mountain Brook in 2000 for the reunion. We didn’t even extend the energy to go to the one in Los Lunas and that’s just forty-five minutes away. This is not exactly a time of our lives that we cherish or wish to relive. Ever.

Anyway, Mr. ex-skater boy cum pediatric specialist doctor was very polite to me and seemed to care about how my life has been going. And I was polite to him (after accidentally blurting “oh my god what happened to your hair?” ooops). I certainly wouldn’t want stupid things I did in junior high held against me. But one of my most vivid junior high memories involves him.

We were in advanced algebra in the seventh grade and the teacher wasn’t there yet. Usual junior high before class bullshit was going on then out of the blue this guy stood up in front of the class and said “Who thinks Noelle is a fat hairy bitch? Raise their hand.” I don’t remember the reaction, or even my own reaction. I knew it was from Eddie Murphy’s drunk father skit even then. Not an original insult, not even an original delivery, but just as hurtful to an awkward chubby twelve year-old girl with bigger tits than the teacher.

Thanks mostly to time, depression, denial, and a fair bit of drinking (coughanddrugscough) I don’t remember a lot from junior high or high school. This one stands out among the few that have made it through. But that purposefully hurtful statement made in, what? 1984? 85? Twenty years ago. I shouldn’t even remember it. Or who made it. But I do. And there he was being polite and successful in the Birmingham airport.

No it’s not all his fault that I had a fat unhappy time in high school there were plenty of others who have reminded me before and since that day that I’m not nor will I ever be considered a skinny girl. I have depression, hypothyroidism, and some pretty serious genetic code to deal with and I fight it all the time. This is one of the permanent burdens of my life and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be entirely comfortable with it. The good part is I also got intelligence, excellent skin, love, support, and good hair (coughandmoneycough) so I suppose having a genetic tendency to be fat is just part of the exchange right?

I try to at least be healthy and as long as I have a husband who loves me no matter what I weigh and I don’t subject anyone to my upper thighs in spandex or clothes that expose butt-floss (which I don’t wear anyway) I don’t see why anyone should give a shit what I weigh. But I wish I could tell that to the little girl who ended up failing that algebra class because, among other things, she felt that maybe if she pretended to be stupid the boys would stop giving her so much shit.

I didn’t say anything about that memory I just politely told him about how I ended up in New Mexico and my geeky husband and listened politely as he told me about his internship and interviews. Didn’t see a wedding band. No girlfriend or wife or kids mentioned at all. Is it weird for me to feel a sense of relief that he might be gay?

1y 10m 2w 4d 0:24 smoke-free

24,080 cigs not smoked

$4,214.00 saved

2m 3w 2d 14:40 life saved

according to QuitTime

And I’d still light one up and smoke it right now if I could. But I don’t want to go through quitting ever ever ever ever EVER ever again.

So my sister showed my patriotic Santa post to a crazy southern right winger friend of hers. But said right-winger couldn’t make it through the whole article without, I dunno, praying or invoking the will of Limbaugh through crack pipe smoke and chant or something. I’m not sure what creeps me out more: the thought that my sister hangs out with crazy right-wingers or that she likes showing them things she knows will piss them off. You’re so weird.
Anyway, I’m leaving for bamaland in two days so excuse me while I start to freak out a little. I’m convinced Cody’s going to forget to bring the hedgehog’s water bottle when he takes her down to his mother’s house next week. And won’t remember to clean the litter boxes. Or remember the dog’s little baggies of food and supplements. I’m scary OCD control freak pet mom!

Yes, the in-laws get to spend the holidays with their grand-hedgehog and lemme tell you, these people are really excited about it. Heh. no. But they’re being very nice, will make sure she has food and water, and are going to put her in the back bedroom and keep the room nice and toasty for her.

All secret and hedge santa presents are whisking off to their respective destinations as I type. And I got a present from our friends in the Netherlands today. Thanks you guys that was a very nice surprise
Between getting everything clean and together to pack and getting the guest room clean enough for Jocelyn to stay there tomorrow night (mostly cat hair-free, clean towels and sheets and comforter! Yay!) I’m not sure if I’ll have time to post again before I get to B’ham on Saturday so here’s some special holiday cheer to keep you busy.

He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you right-click.

Willie Nelson - Pretty Paper
(buy the album)

Roy Shakked - Rock of the Toy Soldier
(buy the album)

The Dickies - Silent Night
(buy the album)

Louis Armstrong - Christmas Night in Harlem
(buy the album)

Roy Shakked - Latin Snow, Latin Snow, Let It Snow
(buy the album)

The Pansy Division - Homo Christmas
(this is not a homophobic song - just the opposite)
(buy the album)

Metal Mike, Alison, and Julia - Deck the Halls
(buy the album)

D.I. - Mr Grinch
(buy the album)

MXPX - Christmas Night of Zombies
(buy the album)

Spinal Tap - Christmas with the Devil
(buy the album)

Laundry. Shopping. Dishes. Making little baggies of food for the dog and hedgehog. Going out of town in three days eeeek!

Hey have you seen the screenshots of when I made a replica of our house in “The Sims”? I really wasn’t exaggerating about the laundry piles ya know.

And not a flag in sight. Santa is a non-denominational international interspecies character. Actually there are accounts of the original Saint Nicolos being extremely kind to animals but I think I ranted enough about all that. Let’s just enjoy the sheer cuteness for a moment.

Aren’t they cuties? We had a great Santa this time who was fascinated with the hedgehog of course but also wasn’t too pushy with getting Winter closer to him - which absolutely will not happen when they try to pull her closer. Nuh uh not a stranger with a ridgeback. She won’t bite or growl or anything, just shut all systems down, dig her paws in and stay rigid until she doesn’t feel spooked anymore. But this time we had a very nice easy-going Santa, Cody was there to help, and I had lots of treats in my coat pocket so we got a really nice doggy smile out of her this year.

You can see the others in the photo journal.

Now, see the neat harness winter is wearing? That’s called a sporn. It’s supposed to be a “no pull” training halter but we found it’s one of the few halters that she’s comfortable in but can’t slip out of easily. I’ve talked about it on the site before.

It’s made by a great pet product company which I like a lot anyway. But I was just reading about how they’ve offered reward money for information about one of their employees’ brothers who’s been missing since November 11th. You may have heard about this - he’s the head programmer for the bookcrossing book exchange website and is a very nice guy from all accounts. No one knows where he is and this isn’t the kind of guy who would just ‘take off’. So please go read up on this situation and see if you can help.

I borrowed Cody’s old cowboy hat for the early morning ceremony. Don’t I look loverly in the mornings tho?

Wrote out all the names on a pad..

Cut and folded each one, put them in the hat, and mixed them up a whole lot.

And drew a name!

Congratulations Marie!!

Also I did a bonus drawing and got Jess so you’ll be getting a surprise too!

But thanks to everyone who came by and commented! I had a lot of fun peeking into your wishes. And maybe, just maaaaybe you’ll get a surprise in the mail in the coming year!

Ok, folks let’s have a serious chat for a minute here. Now, I understand patriotism and I fully support it. Really. I promise. I’ve traveled around the world and while I was always proud to be so adaptable as to be thought of as a local (or at the very least not a fucking annoying American tourist) wherever I was I was also quite happy to come back home. Naturally there are things that happen here I’m not proud of but years ago I made a conscious choice to live in the US when I could have done otherwise and right now I think it’s part of my job to stay here and try to fix it at least by the example of not becoming a paranoid xenophobic hate machine.

I’ll admit though that even I get a little defensive when people who’ve never even been to the US try to dictate what we should do - in the same way I get annoyed when our president does it to other countries and we know how limited his travel experiences have been. Or someone who’s never been to the south attempts to dictate the culture there for that matter. People who have grown up in these places don’t usually fully understand the nuances of their own culture how the fuck should someone who’s never even been there be able to fix what’s wrong with it?

So, no, I’m not anti-American or a self-hating American or whatever the current demean-the-liberal phrase du jour is. I actually do consider myself a patriot - just not the kind that’s so insecure in my beliefs that I feel I have to prove it every five seconds and shove it down others’ throats by pasting stars and stripes on every god damn thing I own.

That being said, the existence of an ornament with Santa Claus being wrapped in an American flag is probably the creepiest thing I’ve seen in a few weeks. That’s saying a lot folks I was in a Wal Mart parking lot in Los Lunas on Black Friday.

No goddammit, Santa Claus is not exclusive to the US. He is not a patriot. To literally wrap Santa Claus in the American flag pretty much goes against the modern concept of Santa Claus giving gifts to the children around the world doncha think? He doesn’t only go to American houses to bring presents! He doesn’t even live here! The north pole is not a US territory.

First, we stole the concept of Santa Claus from the Dutch - although there he actually ‘visits’ on a different day entirely and rarely leaves anything bigger than little fun trinket toys. And that figure’s origins go back to a weird amalgam of Odin flying in the sky casting blessings during midwinter while his son Thor wore red and fought the cold to bring the light back combined with a kindly priest who lived around 600 ad later adopted as a saint by the church. And guess what? The original Saint Nicolos was actually a Christian Greek-speaking Turk!

See, Christmas is a big combination of lots of different cultures’ winter rituals - the ancient origins of Winter Solstice or Yule involved having a huge celebration on the shortest day of the year. I’m paraphrasing of course. It was essentially hijacked by the church so pagans would be more comfortable with Christianity because they could still practice the rituals they were already familiar with. Examples of Christianity absorbing then dominating rituals like that exist in pretty much every culture and is associated with every modern Christian holiday.

The tree? The Druids decorated trees with apples and nuts and candles to celebrate and thank Odin for the harvest while later the Romans put candles and trinkets in trees to celebrate the week long Saturnalia parties honoring their god Saturn. Around the same time Egyptians were doing something similar with palm fronds (hello palm sunday). Later during the middle ages there’s the Tannenbaum tree in Germany - which was brought inside because it was a crime to have under strict protestant no-false-idolatry rule at the time. Then under Charles II in England the ability to celebrate Christmas was considered law and the tree thing spread to other countries. Ironically, the Christmas tree was first brought to the US by the Hessians - Germans hired by England to fight against the US revolutionaries.

The date? Historians generally agree that the origin of the date now celebrated as Christmas, December 25th, was traditionally celebrated by the Romans as the birthday of a “child of light” better known as Mithra, a Persian Sun-God who was also considered a kind, redeeming deity. Blah Blah, adopted by the church blah. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Mix those all together and now the modern concept of Christmas in America can be primarily attributed to a big combination of history, Charles Dickens, and various tomes written to make the poor and middle class happy during the Industrial Revolution. And copywriters for chain department stores so you’d buy all their crap.

Got that? Santa Claus is not an American. We do not hold exclusive rights to the celebration. And while I’m delighted by the concept of giving presents, being nice, and making other people happy in whatever religious or secular form it takes…get that flag off of him. Now. Because it’s shit like that that makes other countries hate us so much.

I apologize profusely to my various sources, to the cultures I didn’t discuss, and especially to the ones I did. I didn’t want to write a dissertation I just wanted to get my point across. Tis the season and all that jazz.