I’ve been going to the morning water aerobics classes at the gym on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. After the eleven o’clock class I hang around in the sauna and hottub for a bit. Just killing time letting Cody sleep a while before he picks me up at one.

There’s a middle-aged blonde woman that sometimes goes to the last class. I’ve been talking with her a bit - mostly about the possibility of going to drawing classes at a place downtown, or how much we dislike Rush Limbaugh and how, no, she would not enjoy listening to Michael Savage despite what that guy said.

She’s your typical New Mexico transplant that people born here (including my husband) absolutely hate. She eats only organic foods and is quite loud about it, uses plastic bags but claims she forgot her reusable bag that day, has no qualms about loudly saying what people should or shouldn’t do, stands around in the locker room just slightly closer than the average American comfort zone of personal space - totally naked, waxes poetic about natural product buzzwords like Burt’s Bees and Aveda and random obscure health-mind-body exercise classes.

The worst part is she’s a total fucking racist about Hispanics. Don’t forget that cruelty-free lipgloss and free-range chicken while you’re making huge assumptions about the checkout girl’s origins!

It took me a little while to realize this but you know when you’re afraid someone in the room is overhearing what this woman is saying to you and you’re going to get beaten up - that’s not good.

Last week she pulled some little spandex outfit out of the locker room garbage and took it home. Yesterday she told me that there wasn’t really anything wrong with the clothes other than the fact that it smelled like “the sweat of a person whose eaten tacos all their life.” That’s a direct quote. I said, “What it smelled like cumin?” Trying to cover her severe faux pas with a distinctly-scented spice reference. But, no, she said it again “No it smelled like taco sweat.” I can’t remember the term she used - something like “Chula Chica” or something which, technically would be translated as “cool chick” but whatever she was using it in a derogatory manner.

Another time I was talking about that Are you looking at my friend’s tits experience and she assumed the men were Hispanic. Actually she assumed they were Hispanic but called them Mexican which is a really good way to insult someone whose family has lived in New Mexico longer than it’s been a state - or even a US territory in some cases. Most old families here are a blend of Spanish (as in Spain), Mexican-Indian (Aztec, Mayan), Native American (Navajo, etc.), and Anglo (general reference to European descent of some kind). In fact the men in that story were white if that means anything at all.

She talked about her next-door neighbors and how there are a bunch of different people staying there in some kind of rotation. How they stand around playing pool in the garage listening to ranchero music. She implies they’re in a gang - or harboring illegals.

I have no idea how long this lady has lived here but she must’ve missed the How to behave in a place with lots of ethnic influences orientation class they offer to people moving here from out of state. I got my first lesson, How to pronounce Chimichanga properly, the second month I was here at the Allsups down the street. Ok so there isn’t an orientation class but I’d pay a few extra bucks in taxes to start one up just so they’ll stop making us all look bad.

I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t said anything to her….yet. But what do you say to someone that loud and self-righteous? I’m so good at calling right wingers on their shit why can’t I do the same for the hypocrites on our side?